There is nothing quite like Christmas in the South Pacific.  Now there’s an opening sentence.  It’s informative because you can be in no doubt, when you read it, that what follows will be about Christmas and, specifically, Christmas in the South Pacific.  It’s also a bit of a tease.  Telling your readership that ‘there’s nothing quite like’ something, is like running a little trailer for what you’re about to describe.  There’s also a bit of a challenge contained therein.  If you’re saying that there really is ‘nothing like’ your subject, your readers will immediately begin to list those things that they suspect your subject might actually be like.  They’re building up straw men and most of them will be hoping to see you knock them all down.  Finally, it’s a cliché, which, whilst not being the most honoured of literary techniques, certainly has its place, and what could possibly be more full of clichés than Christmas?  Equally, what better way is there to finish your opening paragraph than with a rhetorical question?

You don’t have to answer that.  What you do have to do is picture a tropical island, all golden sand and lush palm forest ringed by water that shade of blue people can only ever seem to describe as ‘azure’, which, if you trace it back through its etymological history, like a shark honing in on its prey, only really means ‘blue’.

Are you picturing it?  Can you feel the heat of the sun burning your skin?  Can you feel the warm breeze buffeting your face?  Is that the gentle lap of shallow waves against your toes, or has the washing machine been leaking again?  I hope you’re building a beautiful image of it in your mind, because if you aren’t, it’s going to be an awful lot harder for me to describe what’s going on there.  I mean… I might actually have to put some effort in and you don’t want that.  I’ve been known to write pages about the colour of the sky, for [violet]’s sake!

So, anyway, you’re there, on this tropical island (we’ve moved from mere visualisation to personally identifying yourself within the scene - I hope you’re keeping up) and all around are the Citizens and Legislators of the South Pacific.  How wonderful!  It is incredibly rare to see them all together in their natural habitat like this.  Usually, they split into their various tribes and scurry away to hiding holes on the Regional Message Board or Discord server, but no, here they all are, ready to celebrate Christmas.

Look, here’s a palm tree decked out in baubles and tinsel, there’s a former cabinet member roasting chestnuts on an open fire pit, and over there is someone adding mulling spices to a big vat of SPIT.

Actually. that looks more like razorwire than tinsel and… it’s possible those are grenades.  Those aren’t chestnuts either, now that I get a closer look, although I think they are still nuts…  And, come to think of it, the mulling spices were added hours ago, so I’m not really sure what that is being added now.  It’s coming out of a little white plastic bottle, but… oh, I think I heard  them say something about ‘our Saint Nick’  What a very jolly bunch these South Pacificans are!

And look over here, there’s a big pile of presents on the beach!  They’re from the Ministry of Regional Affairs, I see.  Let’s take a closer look at one of the labels:  ‘To the South Pacific, Happy Christmas, with love from your MoRA’.  They all appear to be in different handwriting, so I guess there have been a few people with that title.  I wonder what’s inside!  Shall we open one?  I know it’s a bit early, but a little sneak peek won’t do any harm.  Go on, tear the paper off that corner there.  Yes, that’s it!  What a satisfying sound it makes, don’t you think?  And, oh!  A glittery box!  I’m so excited!  Let’s open the lid and see what’s hidden within...  Slowly now...  Carefully and…

Oh, it’s empty.

Nevermind, I can see some members of the SPSF playing festive volleyball over there.  See, the ball looks just like Rudolph’s nose.  Well, yes, I suppose you could say it’s just a red ball, but that wouldn’t be very festive, would it?  Anyway, perhaps we can watch them play for a while?  They’ve got lots of energy, don’t they, running around like that, jumping in at a moment’s notice then jumping back again.  I wonder who’s winning?  No one seems to have scored just yet…  I think they might be playing too defensively…

Now, there’s a cosy, festive sight!  That’s the Minister of Foreign Affairs filling in Christmas cards to send to other regions and - oh, how quaint!  They’ve all got pretty Christmas palm trees on the front!

I wonder what he’s writing inside.  Let’s grab one from the finished pile.

What a lovely message!  And it looks like the MoFA has finished writing them all now and is… slipping them into little bottles with corks in the top.  Look, there they go, adrift on the high seas.  I suppose some of them might reach their destinations?

But wait, is that a piano I can hear?  I think everyone’s gathering on the beach to sing a few Christmas carols.  If we go listen, then, maybe, they can sing us out.  Just remember to pull your imagination back out of the scene before they finish.  I’d hate to think of you being trapped here...