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100 Post Story: You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because...
#61

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.
John Hills- President of Ausstan
Reply
#62

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"
Mirage Hills
Hardly active for the reason of being lazy
Reply
#63

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.
"毎日の小さな努力の積み重ねが歴史を作っていくんだよ。"



Put a little effort everyday and it will stack up and create a foundation for you.


- Doraemon


[Image: 5bDBXB8.png] [Image: Gny2SfF.png] [Image: tUG5vUH.png]

Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplay 2020
Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplayer 2020
Cocos Winner for Best Character Writer 2017
Cocos Winner for Best International Event 2017
Cocos Winner for Best Overall RP 2017

Things to know: Medical Intern and Biomedical Scientist from Indonesia, Muslim, 188 metres tall, loves trains
Reply
#64

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.

For the time being, Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen guy takes over.
Mirage Hills
Hardly active for the reason of being lazy
Reply
#65

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.

For the time being, Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen guy takes over.

"Ah hab a appuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, apuh peeeeen. Ah hab panappuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, Panappuh peeeeen. Appuh peeeeen... Panappuh peeeeen... urghh, pen panappuh appuh pen. Pen panappuh appuh pen."
John Hills- President of Ausstan
Reply
#66

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.

For the time being, Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen guy takes over.

"Ah hab a appuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, apuh peeeeen. Ah hab panappuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, Panappuh peeeeen. Appuh peeeeen... Panappuh peeeeen... urghh, pen panappuh appuh pen. Pen panappuh appuh pen."

Then, the main character woke up, his name is bob, be like bob! BE LIKE BOB, SUSAN! GOD!
"毎日の小さな努力の積み重ねが歴史を作っていくんだよ。"



Put a little effort everyday and it will stack up and create a foundation for you.


- Doraemon


[Image: 5bDBXB8.png] [Image: Gny2SfF.png] [Image: tUG5vUH.png]

Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplay 2020
Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplayer 2020
Cocos Winner for Best Character Writer 2017
Cocos Winner for Best International Event 2017
Cocos Winner for Best Overall RP 2017

Things to know: Medical Intern and Biomedical Scientist from Indonesia, Muslim, 188 metres tall, loves trains
Reply
#67

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly." 

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat. 

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.

For the time being, Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen guy takes over.

"Ah hab a appuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, apuh peeeeen. Ah hab panappuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, Panappuh peeeeen. Appuh peeeeen... Panappuh peeeeen... urghh, pen panappuh appuh pen. Pen panappuh appuh pen."

Then, the main character woke up, his name is bob, be like bob! BE LIKE BOB, SUSAN! GOD!

Bob digs around in a metal basket, finds a crumpled piece of paper, finds a pencil, and begins making strange markings on the paper.
[Image: flag%20of%20esfalsa%20animated.svg] Esfalsa | NationStatesWiki | Roleplay | Discord

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Reply
#68

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly."

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat.

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.

For the time being, Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen guy takes over.

"Ah hab a appuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, apuh peeeeen. Ah hab panappuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, Panappuh peeeeen. Appuh peeeeen... Panappuh peeeeen... urghh, pen panappuh appuh pen. Pen panappuh appuh pen."

Then, the main character woke up, his name is bob, be like bob! BE LIKE BOB, SUSAN! GOD!

Bob digs around in a metal basket, finds a crumpled piece of paper, finds a pencil, and begins making strange markings on the paper.

He didn't understand his markings, and threw the paper away
"毎日の小さな努力の積み重ねが歴史を作っていくんだよ。"



Put a little effort everyday and it will stack up and create a foundation for you.


- Doraemon


[Image: 5bDBXB8.png] [Image: Gny2SfF.png] [Image: tUG5vUH.png]

Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplay 2020
Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplayer 2020
Cocos Winner for Best Character Writer 2017
Cocos Winner for Best International Event 2017
Cocos Winner for Best Overall RP 2017

Things to know: Medical Intern and Biomedical Scientist from Indonesia, Muslim, 188 metres tall, loves trains
Reply
#69

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because a unicorn replaced the RandomGuy as a waiter. The unicorn snorts at you and says, "What are you looking at? Never seen a unicorn mixing drinks before?"

I answered, still surprised, "Uhm....No?"

"Well, this isn't a museum. Order or leave" answers the unicorn, rolling its eyes.

"Ok....uhm.....I'll take a BBQ-Burger and a SPIT, please."

The unicorn says, "That'll be right up. Hey you want to try something new." It shows you something sparkly...

"Uhhh.....sure."

"Good... Good...", the unicorn replies thoughtfully.

It goes into the kitchen and...brings out a cake that at first sight looks like it's a llama made out of pure sugar and cotton candy.

You stood there, surprised by the size of the cake.

Hesitatingly you take a slice, the texture is surprisingly rich and then the walls around you being to shift and change...a vortex open and when you can open your eyes you are...

On a lonely island with a nice, white beach with palm trees and a volcano.

You hear a rumbling. The volcano is beginning to erupt! The unicorn leaves through the portal, saying something about racism.

That's the moment you notice, you're black.

You turn and start to run. "What do I do?" you start screaming. Then a police car pulls up in front of you.

"Have you got a weapon?" the police officer asks you.

"Good afternoon, officer and of course not. Why would I need a weapon on this paradisial island?" You smile and try to stay calm.

"Well, maybe it's...", he suddenly has a scary look, "...not so paradisal as you think! Muahahahaha!"

You try not to laugh because the police officer seems kind of fun. "Ok, I'm young and hot and well-dressed..and unless you've got something else to say...I'm going to take a swim in the ocean."

"How dare you to speak in such a tone with me?", asked the police officer and suddenly pointed his gun towards you.

Suddenly he pulls the trigger. He smiles. You become aware that you are now hovering above both the cop and your dead body.

"Will I get into heaven now?", you ask yourself.

"That depends if you pass the job interview", says God. "There are only a certain number of positions available..."

"Ez", you say.

"What skills do you have that could possibly aid our company?" says God. "I was a waiter once?" You reply.

"Wrong. The unicorn was the waiter!"

"No, god, not at the Lampshade Bar, back when I was a student. Any way. I'm willing to bet that there isn't much need for bars in heaven, is there?"

There is an awkward silence so you try again, "Well I'm really good at customer service with a smile and you can't say no to this smile." You smile Smile

"Well, that is impressive." "So do I have the job?" "No." He shouted down to the floor. "CAN I GET SOMEONE TO ESCORT THIS GUY TO HELL?"

Something hot grabs your feet and the next thing you know, you're falling off from Heaven.

The world begins to be red and out of rock with fire and lava beneath you, but the temperature is cooler than in heaven. Welcome to hell!

You hear a disembodied voice saying, "Well that escalated Quickly." 

Looking around, hell doesn't seem so bad. There's a big sign that says, "No Rulez" and people gathered at what looks like lavish party.

But you don't like parties, so you go in the opposite direction towards a lake of lava.

You go on trekking for days, until you see some people. They seem to be in the lava. You run madly towards them.

"HEY! May I join you?"

Before you realise it they have disappeared, and you are knee deep in the lava. It was a mirage. Luckily, you aren't alive so you aren't hurt.

You enjoy the coldness of the lava (in comparison to the air temperature) and lean back to relax a bit and think about the so far weird day.

You spend a few years relaxing in the lava, then you get up and decide to explore once again.

You go towards the north - assumed, that there is "north" in hell.

Eventually, a few demons knock you unconscious and steal everything you own, apart from your clothes. "Could this day get any worse?", you shout.

And yes, it totally can.

You see Satan up ahead of you. And this time it's not a mirage.

"Hey son, I was hoping to see you back here. What's up?" Satan asks.

Dramatic music plays in background.

You flex and try not to roll your eyes. Good old dad, never letting you be a rebel without a cause and all. "Don't tell me you didn't have anything to do with a cop showing up on a Bermudan island and popping me in the head. I could practically smell the sulfur."

"Erm... No?" Well. He was never a good liar, but this was just bad. Ever since business went bad, your father had been acting strangely. He would blame it on the lowered crime rates.

"Don't lie to me, son or otherwise, you'll have to work in the sulfur-mines, do you remember?"

"Yeah I ended up freeing your tortured minions and then some." You roll your eyes, I mean mostly your no longer in your knight in shining armor phase but once in a while just to tweak your dad... Your eyes light up, "I'm your son and have your powers...can't you just let me laze around and enjoy life?"

"No, son! You don't understand! I build up your heritage here and you just think, you can stroll around and say a nice 'Hi' to God and so....that's inappropriate!"

"Do you think I want your heritage? People hate you!!! Your sole purpose is to make people do bad stuff. Ugh...thank God my mom is human and I'm not a total loser like you." Your so mad, you've had this same conversation. There's no way you're taking your dad's place in hell or working for him.

"I wished, I'd have never fucked this biatch", said your father, before he sighed and went back in the meeting room of the "Hell in Devil Inc.".

You snort, "Typical dad, always blaming mom for his problems" before going to the nearest teleportation device and pressing the random button.

You're landing on Mars.

You start to scramble. You need air. You can't breathe, you're spasming and just as you feel yourself start to slip under, you realise, you are half demon, you don't oxygen. Luckily there's nothing alive on Mars to have seen that embarassing situation! You look down and see a small green hand...

And then, you woke up, t'was a bad dream.

~

You walk into the Lampshade Bar and Grill and gasp because someone is seating in your usual seat. 

It is yourself, SLEEPING, on your OWN BED at the Lampshade bar and grill.

You begin to feel the rage consume you. You vow to avenge your fallen ally and decide to join the Sith order.

The sleeping version of yourself pops up before you join to attempt to sway you "Stop! Wait! Are you sure you wanna join!?"

Narrator goes to bathroom, sorry, I'm going to go to the loo.

For the time being, Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen guy takes over.

"Ah hab a appuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, apuh peeeeen. Ah hab panappuh, a hab a pen. Urghh, Panappuh peeeeen. Appuh peeeeen... Panappuh peeeeen... urghh, pen panappuh appuh pen. Pen panappuh appuh pen."

Then, the main character woke up, his name is bob, be like bob! BE LIKE BOB, SUSAN! GOD!

Bob digs around in a metal basket, finds a crumpled piece of paper, finds a pencil, and begins making strange markings on the paper.

He didn't understand his markings, and threw the paper away. 

The paper, who is revealed to be a sentient living piece of paper, jumps up and cuts him all over.
Woof, woof, I'm a dog I like dogs.

Legislator in the Assembly of the South Pacific.
Member of the Island Democratic Party.
Former Local Councillor in the South Pacific.

 
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