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RandomGuy199 · 07-17-2017, 09:49 PM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter I: Unconsciousness

"Uhh... Where am I...?"

That is the first thing RandomGuy199 said as he woke up from unconsciousness. His memory was fuzzy. Five minutes prior, he was the manager of the prestigious Lampshade Bar and Grill, the South Pacific's most famous establishment. Business hadn't been good in a while, but the economy was still good and he could afford to pay himself and his assistant, a strange character known as GI-Land, a moderately good wage. There were numerous expenses, and of course he had to feed a cat and a llama, but he managed to make do with what he had.

He then started to remember. He remembered his predecessor, some douche by the name of Ryccia, suddenly coming, incinerating his alcohol reserves. Random had tried to stop him, but Ryccia, having mysterious Godmod powers, destroyed the bar and the entirety of Government Island. He then proceeded to kill Random's cat, and to throw both Random and GI-Land through a portal, trapping them in... well, he didn't know where that was either.

"That piece of shit Ryccia... killed my poor cat, destroyed my bar, sent me to... this place... I'm gonna blow his head off! But I have to find out how to get back to the South Pacific first."

Random looked at his surroundings. He was in a big, sparsely illuminated room. It resembled a military base of some sort. Looking outside the window, Random saw mountains in the distance. The sky was grey, but not like what one would see in a rainy day back home: it was a darker grey, somewhat... eerie, to say the least. Random then explored the room, looking for clues. He found none, except for a skull, right in front of a door. "Probably one of those novelty replicas," he thought.

[Image: UeEsKYU.jpg]
The room

Running out of options, Random opened the door and went to the next room. This one looked like something out of sci-fi movie, with glowing panels, metal doors, screens, and everything. Confused, he saw two men talking on the other side of the room.

"Hey! This will sound farfetched... I come from a portal, from other dimension. Is there any way to..." They weren't listening. "Hey! Do you understand me? I come..."

That's when he saw that they weren't humans. They looked like humans, but with empty eyes and rotting flesh. However, they weren't zombies, as they pretty much were capable of coherent thoughts, something Random discovered when they started shooting at him with submachine guns.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Random said out loud. He only had some pocket change and his standard issue SPSF pistol, which he carried at all times partly because of (now pretty justified) paranoia. He had only ten bullets, however. Taking cover behind a crate, he once again cursed Ryccia, this time with some... creative insults.

"Goddammit! I guess I'll have to shoot my way out".

So, this is an idea I got after somebody banished me to a mysterious dimension in the LB&G, and inspired by the videogame Doom, which I've been playing recently. I'll do my best to finish it... probably. Comments and discussion here.

Also, @Ryccia, I hope you don't mind me using you as the antagonist Tounge

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

(This post was last modified: 07-18-2017, 03:02 PM by RandomGuy199.)

RandomGuy199 · 07-19-2017, 01:15 AM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter II: Knee-Deep in the Dead

"Fuck, I can't hit them!"

Random tried to aim at the "undead", to no avail, as every time he raised his head above the crate he came pretty close to being hit in the forehead (and that's without mentioning his... relatively shitty aim). As the two undead started to come closer, he was getting both out of options and of bullets. Then, in his desperation, he saw a barrel nearby.

"No. That's a myth. That only happens in movies," he said. Then again, he didn't have much of a choice. He shot the barrel, and of course, the thing exploded, (re-) killing the undead in a blaze of flame and gore. As he approached the remains, he inspected what was left of the barrel. "'High explosive, designed to be shot at a distance. Danger: the most insignificant impact will cause detonation' Who the hell designed this?" Random said out loud.

Suddenly, he heard a voice coming out from another room. He couldn't quite understand it completely, but he understood enough that it was in his language. "Alright. Even if he/it tries to eat my internal organs later this may be my only way of knowing how to get out of this place." He took some ammo from the undead, and entered the room.

He entered a corridor with a high ceiling, and a weird green liquid on the sides, with another undead at the other end. There was a platform on top, where it stood a strange ape-like creature with red eyes. Random didn't have time to doubt whether it was hostile, as it started hurling fireballs at him immediately after noticing his presence. Fortunately for Random, it missed, being distracted by something else, and hitting the undead, who was dissolved in the liquid that now revealed itself to be acid. Random shot the creature, who fell to the acid as well. Then, he saw what caused the distraction.

"Cat! Is it really you?! I thought you were dead!" said an astonished Random.
"Of course not. I'm immortal, dumbass."
"Wait, you can talk?" asked an even more astonished Random.
"Not in your stupid reality, at least. Here, my brain is in its natural state, allowing me to speak."
"So, all cats can talk?"
The cat sighed. "Yes! Fucking idiot..."

The cat offered then some exposition. "When that dipshit Ryccia tried to kill me, I moved my soul back to this dimension. All of us cats come from here, and we use that ability when we die in your reality. Where do you think the "cats having nine lives" thing came from?"

"Whatevs. What in hell is this place anyway?" finally asked Random.
"That exactly."
"What?"
"This is Hell, my friend!" answered the cat. "Well, more like a preliminary dimension before Hell. Not quite Hell yet, but not Purgatory either. It is being colonized by the Spiderdemon to use as a vacation home or something. I dunno."
"So... those undead things... this base..." wondered Random, while ignoring the "Spiderdemon" part.
"They're the possessed bodies of the damned. They're brought here to work. That imp you killed? It was supervising them. This is pretty much one of their barracks."
"And why do they attack us?"
"I don't know that. Do you think I'm some high ranking demon or anything? Jeez... C'mon, the exit is right there. I don't think you want to spend more time here".

As they walked to the base's exit, Random was still confused, lots of questions in his mind. "Hell?" "Demons?" "Spiderdemons?" "Where's GI-Land?" And, most importantly, "how the fuck do I get out of here in order to kick Ryccia's ass and recover my bar?"

"Here we are. What is your plan now?" Asked the cat.
"If it isn't obvious, I want to find my assistant, get the fuck out of here, and kill Ryccia."
"Heh, that's tough. Not many people leave this place. You need to have godly powers or something. You know, like Odysseus, that Jesus guy, Elvis..."
"Well, If Ryccia can do it, I sure as hell can."
"Alright. I'll help ya out. This place is boring as... well, as Hell. Your dimension has better food too, so, yeah, I wouldn't lose anything".

They opened the hatch, and left the base.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

RandomGuy199 · 07-23-2017, 12:13 PM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter III: Looking For A Way Out

"So, genius, how do you expect to get out of here, exactly?"

"What?! I thought you knew!"

Such was the exchange between Random and the Cat as they walked through the barren landscape. Unlike Hell itself, this zone, named Limbo, was cold, dark, and vast. To protect himself from the cold, Random was forced to steal an overcoat from one of the undead. It wasn't enough.

A map of Limbo

"I know how to get out by myself, but I'm not sure how can I get you out," the cat finally admitted.
"You're my fucking guide! You're supposed to know these things!" replied Random, understandably annoyed. "Wait, didn't you rescue GI-Land once before this debacle?"
"We cats can create portals at will, but they don't fit humans. I used Ryccia's own portal to rescue the guy. Does your dumb ape brain understand that?"
"Why didn't you tell me that before we started walking?! We've been freezing in the absolute middle of nowhere for two days! You fucking asshole!"

The arguing continued for twenty or so minutes, with each one accusing the other of being an asshole and an idiot, respectively.

"So, Einstein, do you know that I could just leave you here to freeze to death, right?" threatened the cat.
"Well, if you do that, you may have to survive on regular cat food. I don't thing Ryccia will let you have scraps, let alone roam around stealing the customers' food, you know?" replied Random, knowing very well what the response would be.
"No! Everything but cat food! Do you know what that stuff is made of? It's disgusting!"
"So, will you help?"
"Fine, fine. Dipshit. You see, each of these dimensions has at least one "Anomaly", where portals are easily opened. They use it to transport workers and supplies as needed. Perhaps you could use that to get back to Pacifica."
"Great. Was it hard to give that information?"

Now, with the cat having the necessary motivation, and with both having a clear objective, they decided to go to the Anomaly. However, they did not know where it was, and they were short of supplies to make the journey. Thus, they stopped in the first building they found, a small facility resembling a nuclear plant. It was lightly guarded, so they easily managed to enter. Of course, on the inside it was a different matter entirely.

"So, what's the plan?" whispered the cat.
"If we keep quiet we should be able to..."

Before Random finished that sentence, they were spotted by an undead; this one carried a shotgun. Random, understanding the circumstances, changed the plan. "Nevermind. We fuck'em up!" he said before shooting the undead in the face, stealing his shotgun. Soon, they were met by more undead, with hostile intentions.

"Congrats, smart guy! Now we're surrounded!" stated the cat with his usual sarcasm.
"But now, we have firepower!"

As soon as they had arrived, the undead had become piles of meat on the floor, thanks to the shotgun.

"How's that for you, undead fucks?" said Random as he executed the last one.
"How the hell did you do that?" asked the cat, a bit dumbfounded.
"A bit of military training, plus one year defending the bar against usurpers and drunken assholes".

Random and the cat made their way through the plant, stealing water, stuff to protect against the cold, and the like, and killing any undead or imp they found. As they approached the other side, they heard a noise. Random turned around to find his long lost assistant, GI-Land.

"Assistant! You're alive!" said Random, smiling. He was surprised as well; he didn't expect him to be alive.
"Yes, but barely... as soon as I woke up, these guys came and took me here. This is apparently an energy plant... where they mine uranium," replied GI-Land in his slight German accent. "I don't know what their doing, but they seem to hate us humans".
After a pause, on which he drank some of the water Random had, he continued.
"I heard the shots, and managed to escape. I'm glad you're alive, boss!"
"Same."
"Alright, alright, everything's fine and good, but do you know where's the exit?" the cat intervened.
"There should be one on the other side of that corridor... And I missed you as well, kitty!"
"Whatever."

The corridor was a labyrinth filled with fireball spewing imps. Random and GI-Land dispatched them with ease, Random with the shotgun, and GI-Land with Random's pistol. Suddenly, a dog-like demon emerged from a corner.

"Shit!" exclaimed the cat, almost getting eaten.

GI-Land tried to shoot it with the pistol, but the demon resisted. It dived towards the cat with its mouth open, but a well timed shot with Random's shotgun stunned it. It took five shots to kill it.

"How can you breathe with so much lead in your face, sucker?!" yelled Random at the now dead demon.
The cat was less excited. "Are you going to say a dumb one-liner after every kill?"
"I'll try, yes."

Eventually, the trio found the exit. Better yet, they found out there was a rail system connecting all the important locations in Limbo, including this one.

"Do you think this will take us to the Anomaly?" asked Random.
"No fucking idea, but you don't have many options, so I say take it." replied the cat.

They boarded a railcar, and went to whatever place it took them.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

RandomGuy199 · 07-29-2017, 08:29 PM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter IV: The Command Center

"What the hell is this...?"

"No idea... I know as much as you do, that is, nothing."

Random and GI-Land had this exchange when the railcar finally arrived at its destination. It was a building with metal walls, which from the outside looked quite a lot like a spaceship. Neither Random nor GI-Land had any clue of what it was. The only being that could possibly know, that is, the cat, was peacefully asleep inside the railcar.

"HEY! WAKE UP!" yelled Random at the cat. He did not even move. "You useless, lazy bastard... WAKE UP!"

With his boss increasingly irate, GI-Land offered a solution. He took a sandwich Random had in his backpack (which had been stolen from a fridge in the energy plant) and put it in front of the cat's face. He woke up instantly.

"Just a bite, pleeeaase..." the feline begged. "Unless it's filled with tofu or some other vegan bullshit. In that case just burn it to hell."
"GI-Land, don't give him jack shit. I once listened to him, and he stole my lunch... multiple times." said Random.
"But look at how adorable he is!" said GI-Land. He wasn't wrong.

Eventually, the cat's patience ran out. "If I don't get that, I'll just stay here and leave you to find the Anomaly by yourselves."
This threat finally caused Random to give in. "Alright. Give it to him. You're a fucking asshole, you know that?"
"Yeah, yeah." replied the cat, as GI-Land gave him the sandwich.
"So, this isn't the Anomaly?" asked GI-Land.
"Nope. We'll have to enter to find out. There's maybe another rail connection or something, I dunno," said the cat, with his mouth full.
"A connection will be useless if we don't know where the fuck we're going. We need a map, and have no choice but to look for it here," concluded Random.

The trio entered the facility, looking for a map. It was unsurprisingly filled with undead soldiers. They shot their way through the hordes of undead, imps and demons guarding the facility, searching room after room, finding nothing.

Eventually they arrived at a locked door. Luckily, they didn't have to search much for the key, as a dead imp nearby had it in its possession. The trio entered the room, only for the door to shut, leaving them trapped inside.

"Fan-fucking-tastic. Now we're trapped!" the cat complained. "Why did we get in here, exactly?"
"It was your idea, smartass," replied Random.
"And who was the one who suggested we look for a map?" said the cat, shifting the blame.
GI-Land interrupted. "Guys... we have company..."

And it was the worst kind of company. Dozens of undead and demons approached them from every direction. Random and GI-Land tried to beat them back, but they were outnumbered to such a degree that they weren't capable of doing so.

With their backs against the wall, and almost without ammunition, Random spotted a switch on the wall.

"That switch! If one of us can reach it we can escape!"

However, as soon as he finished that sentence, Random saw the cat press the switch, and escape through the door, leaving them behind.

"YOU TRAITOROUS PIECE OF SHIT!" exclaimed Random as he fired his last rounds of ammunition.

With everything seemingly lost, GI-Land spotted a chainsaw nearby. He turned it on, the noise scaring the demons.

"Open the door! Leave!" yelled GI-Land.
"I'm not leaving you here!"

Using his last shotgun shell, Random shot the switch, opening a side door, and allowing them to escape. As they left, they discovered that a demon had slipped through. Having no other weapons, GI-Land killed it with the chainsaw, and took his weapon, a fully automatic chaingun.

"Hell yes," said GI-Land after taking the, admittedly awesome, weapon. "Now what do we do? Our guide left us to die," said GI-Land.
"We look for an exit. Otherwise, we're fucking done for."

Random, with the cat's betrayal still in his mind, scanned the room they were now in. It was filled with computers and other equipment. They also weren't alone, as an Asian-looking man stood at the other end.

"Hammer!?" exclaimed Random, recognizing who he was.
"Yes. It is I," said Hammer, confirming his identity.

Hammerstar, Hammer for short, was an eccentric character, a regular customer at the LB&G back in Pacifica. Due to his Muslim faith, he was the only one who didn't drink alcohol (Ryccia notwithstanding). However, he was a medical student, and due to the lack of actual doctors in his clientele, Random was sure to keep him nearby in case of... incidents.

"What are you doing here?" asked GI-Land.
"Searching for gadgets. Where do you think I get all my gear? The technology here is way more advanced than on Pacifica." Hammer explained.
"How do you get in? Or out?" asked Random, incredibly confused.
"Ryccia sent me here once. I took a portable... portal from one of those things, which allows me to travel here freely. It's only for one person, however."
"Dammit," cursed Random.
"Do you at least know where the 'Anomaly' is?" asked GI-Land again, hoping for a positive response.
"I have a map right here," said Hammer. "It shows all the stations of the rail system. The Anomaly is the northernmost one. I cannot accompany you, however. I have to return to Pacifica in less than five minutes."
"Oh, well, thanks. It's the most help we've gotten since we arrived," said Random, smiling for the first time all day.

Hammer led them to the railway station, with him giving Random and GI-Land some of his food supplies. After taking ammunition from some crates, they parted ways.

"Before you leave, what is this place exactly?" Random asked Hammer.
"It's a command center. 'They' organize their operations from here... whatever they are".

Hammer dissappeared in a flash of light, while Random and GI-Land boarded the railcar towards the Anomaly.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

(This post was last modified: 08-02-2017, 02:09 PM by RandomGuy199.)

RandomGuy199 · 08-03-2017, 09:57 AM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter V: The Anomaly

"So, here we are. Let's see what this is about."

GI-Land thought this as the railcar stopped. The noise woke up Random, who had been taking a nap.

"Goddammit! I had finally managed to get some sleep..."

They left the railcar, and entered a station, similar to the one where Random had initially waken up from unconsciousness. As soon as they came in, they saw a group of demons around an altar, with a bunch of explosive barrels around them. Random raised his shotgun, but GI-Land stopped him.

"Don't worry, I got this," he confidently said, before firing his chaingun at the barrels. They exploded in quick succession, with the demons turning into unrecognizable piles of flesh.

"Holy fucking shit... that was beautiful," said Random, a bit too impressed with the spectacle he had just witnessed. Suddenly, two dozen imps appeared from an adjacent room. Random, still sleepy and without fucks to give, did not mind.

"Hell yeah! Fresh meat, ready for slaughter!" he exclaimed as he and GI-Land mowed them down.

After the massacre, they explored the station. It was filled with two things, one better than the other; on one hand, it had tons of weapons and ammunition. On the other, there were a similar number of human corpses, the poor bastards presumably having died trying the same feat Random and GI-Land were just going to attempt. Random paid no attention to this ominous sign of what lay ahead, simply taking a rocket launcher from the floor.

Finally, they found an elevator with a sign reading "DANGER. To the Anomaly". Deciding nothing could be more dangerous than what they had already found in this dimension, they took it.

"Something's not right, boss," said GI-Land as they entered a closed room with red lights. The only things of significance in this room were two compartments in the center.

"This is the Anomaly?! Bullshit!" cursed Random. Unfortunately for them, those curses alerted something that had been looking at them since the beginning. The compartments started to open.

"What the hell?!" exclaimed GI-Land upon seeing what was inside. Two tall demons, with a human looking body but with a goat's head and legs, appeared.

"SO YOU HUMANS ARE THE ONES PERTURBING OUR OPERATIONS," said one of the demons in a deep, loud voice. "Who the hell are you? What do you want?" asked Random, shotgun raised.
"WE ARE BARONS FROM HELL," replied the other demon. "WE HAVE BEEN TASKED BY THE SPIDER MASTERMIND TO COLLECT THE NECESSARY WEAPON-GRADE URANIUM TO PAVE THE WAY FOR AN INVASION OF YOUR PUNY WORLD."
"You're going to invade Pacifica?!" exclaimed GI-Land, visibly distraught.
"YES. AND YOU NOW KNOW TOO MUCH. WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DESTROY YOU."
"Fucking try it!" yelled Random as he motioned for GI-Land to take cover.

As GI-Land and Random took cover behind a wall, the Barons started throwing balls of hot plasma at them. One of them exploded near them, but not nearly enough to damage them. Random shot twice with the shotgun, but the Barons were impervious to bullets.

"IT IS NO USE. ACCEPT YOUR FATE AND PREPARE FOR DOOM."

Another plasma ball fell nearby, stunning GI-Land. As the Barons approached him, and he prepared for the worst, an explosive barrel fell from the roof.

It was the cat! As the barrel exploded, Random remembered the rocket launcher he had taken minutes earlier. He loaded it, and fired at the stunned Baron. It took five rockets, but he eventually exploded into bits, leaving only a guttural sound as its last words.

The other Baron ran up to them with murderous intentions. He launched a plasma ball, which hit Random, leaving him unconscious.

"BOSS! You dick!" yelled GI-Land at the Baron. The cat dropped another barrel, but missed. He resorted to throwing stones as a distraction.

"What? You wanna fuck on this, eh, big guy?" taunted the cat. It worked well enough. GI-Land approached from behind, took the rocket launcher, and fired at the Baron's stomach, leaving a basketball-sized hole. The Baron fell to the floor.

"YOU INSOLENT MORTALS... YOU WILL SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE SPIDER MASTERMIND... YOU WILL SUFFER... AND YOUR PATHETIC WORLD WILL SUFFER TOO," said the Baron as he bled out. It died a few seconds later.
"Oh, shut the fuck up," said the cat before spitting at the Baron's dead body. He then turned to a very shocked GI-Land "Well, did ya miss me?"
"We should be the ones asking questions," said Random, waking up (again) from unconsciousness.
"And how did you survive that shit?" asked the cat, ignoring Random completely.
"Body armor. I'd always wear this thing in case someone at the bar came and shot me... which has happened a lot. And now, what the fuck are you doing here, you fucking traitor, and why should we trust you after you abandoned us in the command center?"
"Well, after I abandoned you, I tried to find this place. I eventually followed one of the demons and got into the ventilation shaft. Anyway, I thought to myself 'if these guys kick the bucket nobody is going to care for me when I leave' so, yeah, I decided to give ya a hand."
"And why should we trust you?" asked GI-Land, joining the interrogation.
"I dunno, maybe because I just saved your asses, or because I have the key to the portal..."
"Damn, he actually has a point," said Random. "Alright. Whatever. We can always use a guide, even if that guide is an asshole, disloyal, adorable kitty."
"Fuck you."

The cat entered one of the compartments. Inside were the controls of the portal. He inserted the key, opening the roof and revealing the portal.

"Alright gentlemen, this is it!" said the cat, excited. Random smiled. It seemed all that killing and suffering was worth it.

They entered the portal. Little did they know that portal did not lead to Pacifica.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

RandomGuy199 · 08-14-2017, 11:51 PM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter VI: Tartarus

"What the fuck!?"

Random, GI-Land and the cat found themselves in some sort of castle, surrounded by enemies. Fortunately, they still had their weapons. They fought their way to an adjacent room.

"Didn't you say that the Anomaly would take us back home?" asked Random to the cat, as he shot at the incoming demons.
"I said perhaps! I'm as surprised as you are!" the feline replied.
"Do you have any idea of where we are now, at least?" asked GI-Land, before using his chainsaw on an unsuspecting imp.
"I'll have to look at the window to make sure," replied the cat, with a serious look on his face.

Still thinking about the cat's earlier betrayal, Random was hesitant, but knowing his options were limited, he gave green light. The cat sprinted towards the window and looked through. He saw the same rocky landscape as in Limbo, and the climate was still cold, but the sky was blood red. He turned back.

"So?" inquired GI-Land, finishing off the last of the demons.
"This is Tartarus. Used to be the domain of Hades, until that guy retired. This used to be his castle."
"In respects to Pacifica..."
"We're actually closer to Hell."

After two minutes of them reflecting their new situation, with Random spending most of that time hitting his head against the wall, they recovered their composure, and decided to try their luck and search for another Anomaly. "Perhaps this one will be the one..." said Random. As they looked for an exit to the castle, a section of the wall opened. Out emerged a bizarre creature, a giant floating sphere with one eye, a giant mouth, and lots of sharp teeth.

"Great. A fucking Cacodemon," shrugged the cat.
"What the fuck is that shit?!" said Random, gagging at the sight of that horrendous creature.
"Are you deaf? A Cacodemon. They're used in the same way you humans employ guardian dogs. As you may guess... they have quite the penchant for human flesh."

The thing started slowly floating towards them. The trio fired their weapons at the Cacodemon, but it resisted. It fired a plasma ball, hitting Random square in the chest.

"Note to self... carry a backup vest..." muttered Random, as he passed out.
"Not again!" GI-Land exclaimed.

As GI-Land tried to stop the Cacodemon from eating Random. The cat remembered something.

"Hey, goofs! The rocket launcher!"

GI-Land took a step back, loaded, and fired the rocket launcher, but missed.

"For fucks sake!" yelled the cat, knowing he had to serve as a distraction, again.
"Next time why don't you try to hit a giant death ball while it dives at you trying to eat your flesh?" said GI-Land, as he was being slowly pushed back by the Cacodemon.

The cat then did his part, running in front of the demon, and distracting him long enough for GI-Land to fire again. The Cacodemon dissolved into a grotesque pile of entrails and blood. Looking at where it had come from, the cat discovered that there was a teleporter with an "EXIT" sign in the exact same place.

"Must have come from there. How's the douche?" asked the feline, who was now thinking on how he would make GI-Land repay the favor.
"He's bleeding out! We need to do something ASAP!"
"Don't worry. I know a place..."

They did their best to bandage the wounds, and carried him to the teleporter. The cat pressed some buttons, so as to direct the teleporter to its destination, and activated the machine, the trio vanishing in a flash of light.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

RandomGuy199 · 08-22-2017, 11:55 PM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter VII: On the Shores of Hell

"Uhh... where I'm I... Don't tell me I'm in fucking limbo again..."

Random, for the third time since his banishment from Pacifica, woke up from unconsciousness. He was in a comfortable couch, in what seemed to be a country house. At his feet, the cat was sleeping.

"You did survive after all. Neat," said the cat, half-asleep and in his usual mocking tone, mixed with some purring.
"Where are we now?" asked Random.
"You could ask the owner of the house."

Random looked around. It was a pretty nice house with the necessary commodities, albeit it was in the complete middle of nowhere. He entered what seemed to be the kitchen, and saw a familiar face.

"Resentine?!" exclaimed Random upon recognizing him.

The SPSF General was drinking a bottle of beer together with GI-Land and Hammerstar (who was drinking iced tea). Evidently, he was the owner of that house.

"He has become a zombie! Kill it!" screamed GI-Land while grabbing a kitchen knife. He was stopped by Resentine.
"So, you don't have brain damage after all! I owe you five Drama Llamas, Hammer," said Resentine with a smirk. "I was sure about it. He was completely delirious!"
"That might be the morphine. We injected him with a lot of morphine. I told you, there was no way my diagnosis could be wrong," replied Hammer, drinking from his glass.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Random entered the conversation. "What the fuck happened?"
"This guy and that adorable kitty brought you here," Res answered, pointing at GI-Land and the cat. "You were bleeding out after being blasted by a Cacodemon. You're lucky we managed to contact Hammer. Even then, I thought you were toast." He drank from his bottle, before opening another and giving it to Random.
"So, you are here, making bets on my death and drinking beer?"
"Pretty much."
"Eh... whatever," said Random, who after witnessing bizarre ocurrence after bizarre ocurrence, wasn't surprised.

[Image: 8J8zXX4.png]

A map of Tartarus.

"So, this is the place where you dissappear every three months?" Random continued, drinking from the bottle.
"Yep. This is paid by the MoMA! It's in the middle of nowhere, but it's really fucking cool. The best part is, they themselves don't know!" Res laughed. "If Yuno found out I've spent Ministry money on this she would cut my head off. You owe me one, so... keep that in mind."
"And... do you have a portal out of here?" inquired GI-Land, after Random promised to keep the secret.
"Yeah, but it uses massive amounts of energy, and it only works every three months, and I don't think you would want to spend that much time here."
"Fuck!" was Random's only reply.
"Don't panic, my friend!" Res said, opening a map on his phone. He pointed to an area in the south of Tartarus. "This here is the Tower of Babel. As you may guess from the name, it was the one created by early humans to reach God. He wasn't happy, and sent the entire tower to Hell with all the workers inside."
After seeing Random's shocked face, he clarified. "Some details were changed when that book was written. Point is, that's where this dimension's Anomaly is. I can take you there if ya want."

After waking up the cat, Random and GI-Land discussed their options, and decided to go there.

"We'll go. As usual, our choices are limited," said Random.
The cat intervened. "Hey, idiots, you can't just enter there. You need a passcode. Those can only be found in the Central Halls, where the souls of the damned await transfer to Hell."
"We'll go there then! Do we have anything to lose?" said GI-Land.

After finishing their drinks, the trio got on Res' Government-owned car, and the latter came out five minutes later with a package.

"There's a lot of shit out there. You'll need extra firepower," he said, as he took a shiny new gun out of a case. "This is a plasma gun. Pretty self explanatory. Shoots quick bursts of plasma, and decimates everything in its path. It's an SPSF prototype, so be careful with it... and don't tell Yuno I took it! I've been using it to shoot Cacodemons."

Res started the car, and they left towards the Central Halls.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

(This post was last modified: 08-23-2017, 12:07 AM by RandomGuy199.)

RandomGuy199 · 09-12-2017, 12:27 AM

RandomGuy's Inferno

Chapter VIII: Halls of the Damned

"Alright, this is as far as I can take you. Take care out there".

The trio of Random, GI-Land, and the cat said their goodbyes and left the vehicle. They were now on top of a ridge overlooking the Central Halls. Resentine then sped away, after giving a last recommendation; "remember, if someone asks you, I was never here!"

"That bastard is weird," said the cat.
"Indeed, replied Random. "Now, let's see what do we got here".

From the outside the Central Halls looked like an office building of sorts. There was a long line to get inside, made up of ghastly looking men, women, and other, non human, beings, which clearly were not there of their own volition. The line was patrolled by armed guards at each side, accompanied by Cacodemons.

"Should we just storm in?" asked Random.
"Are you fucking stu..."

Before the cat could finish his sentence, a man inside the line punched one of the guards, and started running away. "I'm not going to Hell anytime soon, assholes! I'm still alive!" he yelled. He was at least thirty meters away from the queue when he stumbled upon one of the Cacodemons. In less than three seconds, he was brutally torn to pieces and eaten.

"As I was saying, you're fucking stupid, and I've been proven right, again!" said the cat, as smug as always.
"Any suggestions, then? Eh, you dick?" Random fired back.
"HEY!" Interrupted a frustrated GI-Land. "Can you two listen for once? We could just get in the line, and get out of it once we get inside."
"That's... actually not that bad," said the cat. Random just shrugged.

The trio got in the line, in the place of the man who had ran away. None of the people in it cared much, as they clearly didn't want to be there in the first place. As the queue slowly moved forward, they saw somebody they knew.

"Hey!" He whispered, in an Irish or Scottish accent. "I'm Seraph, come here."

They moved towards him, being practically pushed forward by the people in front of them, seemingly wanting to delay the inevitable by putting others between them and the end of the line.

"So here you are lads," said Seraph, glad to see familiar faces. "Thought you were already down there."
"We've actually been wandering through a lot of places," said Random, before explaining what they had gone through. "Glad you're fine, as fine as one can be while being dragged down to Hell. Oh, by the way, the cat can speak."
"Whatever," the cat gave his usual annoyed response. "Anyway, Irish Coffee Guy, what happened to you?"
Seraph was taken aback, but quickly regained his composure. "Ryccia trapped me here, and these guards found me after two days. They put me here, and I'm now being dragged down to Hell. You have no idea how bad this is."
"Heh, trust us," replied GI-Land. "We've been through some horrible stuff ourselves."

Hours passed, and they finally entered the building. It was essentially a long waiting room. At the end was Cerberus, the famous giant three-headed dog which guarded the Gates of Hell. As people passed, it indicated whether they had to continue and enter the gates. In that case, which it almost always was, it opened them and let one of the guards literally kick the poor person to Hell. "Alright, NEXT IN LINE!" the creature yelled.

Random saw a door leading to a storage room. "We should be able to find what we need there," he thought.
"So, do you have a plan?" inquired Seraph. "Not to pressure you or anything, but I really don't want to cross that gate before my time".
"We have to go to that storage room over there. It's the only place where it's plausible we could find the passcode to enter the Tower of Babel."
"But, how are we gonna do that?"

[Image: lrLazCW.png]

The storage room

The cat was interrupted again. A man with bleached hair and wearing a brightly colored robe suddenly low-blowed one of the guards, and started running towards the exit like a maniac. With a cry of "I'm not dead yet, motherfuckers! WOOO!!", he caused enough chaos to enable Random, GI-Land, Seraph, and the cat to escape. They entered the storage room, with Random shooting the guards still inside with his shotgun.

As they examined the room, someone appeared rather unexpectedly. It was one of the Barons of Hell.
"WE MEET ONCE AGAIN, MORTALS," it said in its loud, booming voice.
"Didn't we kill you and your asshole buddy?" asked Random.
"I'VE BEEN RESURRECTED BY THE POWER OF THE SPIDER MASTERMIND. NOW PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED..."

GI-Land took the plasma gun Resentine had given them, and shot the Baron in the head, making it explode. "Huh, that was easy," he said. "This thing is great!" He then motioned for the cat to examine the corpse.

"Hey, this guy has the passcode!" he said.
"Take it, and let's the fuck out!" replied Random.

The group left through an emergency exit, and stole a car from one of the demonic guards. They then set coursse for the only discernible structure in the distance, the Tower of Babel.

RandomGuy199
Representative of the Federal Republic of Karnetvor
Resident Venezuelan/Lampshade Bar & Grill Manager- The South Pacific
Soldier, South Pacific Special Forces

RP Information

"You're talkin' to the Rolex wearin', diamond ring wearin', kiss stealin', wheelin' n' dealin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', son of a gun, and I'm having a hard time keeping these alligators down!"

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

(This post was last modified: 09-12-2017, 08:55 PM by RandomGuy199.)