Legislators debating the Article VI amendment

Assembly Chamber. The Assembly is debating parallel bills that would give greater executive authority to the Prime Minister, following repeated criticism that the position lacks adequate powers to be an effective leader of the Cabinet.

Former Prime Minister Roavin submitted on August 8 a bill to amend Article VI of the Charter, to grand the Prime Minister "ultimate authority over all executive activities". In the ensuing debate, Roavin indicated that the goal of this bill is to allow the Prime Minister to override decisions by individual ministers, should those be counter-productive to regional policy goals and interests.

Responses to the bill, while initially mixed, have leaned towards positive over the past few weeks. Deputy Chair Rebeltopia expressed support, saying that "everyone complains about the PM having no real authority". Longtime legislator Ryccia expressed tentative support for the measure, suggesting that it could prove successful if implemented. Discussion turned to specifics when the bill was picked up by Tim Montresor-Stark. While he supported the intent of the bill, calling the current incarnation of the Prime Minister position "toothless as all hell", Tim expressed concern that the term "ultimate authority" could lend itself to abuse and obstructionism. He proposed an amended wording that gave the Prime Minister a "right to veto" ministerial decisions, subject to an override by the Cabinet.

Former Delegate Belschaft suggested an alternative draft on August 17, after Tim withdrew his own draft to allow for further discussion. Belschaft's text enshrined the longstanding concept of collective responsibility, but provided that the Prime Minister would set and oversee common goals for the Cabinet and established that, when tied, the Prime Minister's vote would be the deciding one.

Debate has now turned to the question of which of the parallel drafts will be motioned to a vote. Veteran figures like Roavin and Sandaoguo seem to favour Belschaft's draft, whereas Prairie and Escade have expressed support for Tim's draft, though suggesting certain changes to it.

Fashionably late as usual, I arrived at Erinor’s office on the afternoon of his last day, with a notepad, a few pens, and a mission (or rather, a job assignment). I found him packing his last few things, greeting me with a sincere smile. While exchanging pleasantries, I marveled at the office. The big mahogany desk, topped by green leather and adorned with a globe and a bankers lamp, was augmented by a red leather armchair and set behind a giant bay window looking out into the municipality. In front of the desk was a moving box that had not been closed yet, revealing a steampunk-ish brass clockwork. To the one side of the room, a big mahogany shelf lined the wall, with several boxes full of books set in front of it, while the other side was kept rather plain except for a free-standing segment of brick wall.

I didn’t have to ask what the brick wall is for. It is a Delegate heirloom from many years past, initially installed by Fudgetopia for Cabinet ministers to “release stress”. Tsunamy had insisted it be kept in the Delegate’s office when the office of Prime Minister was reestablished a bit over two years ago, and it has graced the office of the Delegate ever since. I briefly considered asking whether he had used it, but quickly decided that this was best left for Erinor to know. At any rate, I did not find any incriminating bits and pieces of loose mortar on the carpet.

As our discussion of the wonders and frustrations of raising a daughter came to a close, I dove right in with my questions.

“In your 6 months as Delegate, endorsement statistics in the South Pacific shot up to unprecedented numbers. Not just the Delegate endorsements went well beyond 600 for the first time in history, but also the average endorsement count of World Assembly nations went from 2 to 5. What's your secret?”

“The simple answer would be: Obsession! I was just really dogged about making sure to endorse everyone and also to send semi-regular regional and targeted telegrams to encourage more nations to join the WA and endorse myself and the CRS. It honestly didn't require much effort once I'd done the major endotarting run to get all the nations in the region. I just checked the WA activity list a couple of times a day and endo'd anyone new, as well as checking for stragglers at the bottom of the regional census every few days. It became quite addictive.”

“Will you be continuing your newly found obsession once the transition is complete?”

“Not immediately.” He paused, and in that brief moment, weariness crept on his face. “Probably. I plan to take a break once the dust clears. Put my nation on vacation mode and see if i can find other ways to fill my time for a while. I think my mental health could benefit from me being less wedded to an online device.”

Suddenly, his smile returned, sincere as always. “Once I come back, however, I think it's very likely.”

“What else would you say has worked really well during your term? Or, to put it differently, what else are you particularly proud of?”

“My rapport with the RMB. I've always got on well there, but the title and my use of the power and influence of the delegate position continued to grow that. It very much felt like people trusted me to make wise decisions regarding trolls and spammers as well as more pastoral concerns like offering advice. I think it's a good thing for a delegate to be able to do and whilst I wouldn't expect it of all delegates, I was really pleased to be able to fulfill that role.”

He seemed to radiate with pride on this point, and it seemed like this, even more so than his achievements with our endorsement statistics, is what he considers his flagship achievement.

“It's true that you were truly a nation of all three communication platforms in use in TSP”, I remarked. He simply nodded. “How important do you feel it is for a Delegate to be active on the RMB, on Discord, and on the forum, rather than just on the one or two they may prefer?”

“Well, firstly, I'd want to correct that viewpoint of me. I don't think I was as active on the forums as I could have been, although I certainly followed events there and contributed when I thought I had something useful to offer. I think it helps for any government official to, at the very least, be aware of what is going on in all three platforms. It's easy to get a very skewed perspective of what the South Pacific really is if you only see it through one kind of lens and I feel it's important, especially for the Delegate, to have as true a picture of the region and what makes it tick as possible. That way, it's that much easier to build the kind of rapport with the region that allows for the bigger delegate actions, like mass telegrams, etc.”

“Now, onto the less pleasant parts: What did you think you missed out on, or didn't do particularly well, during you term?”

He sighed, as the smile slowly vanished. “In my campaign I'd stated an intent to act as a leader for Local Council, which is something I didn't really act upon and, doubtless, the LC at the time could have benefited from more input and guidance.”

As fate would have it, just at that moment he grabbed a printout of a court case filing, titled “Auphelia is corrupt”. He looked at it briefly, then unceremoniously threw it away.

“It was ultimately something I didn't really find the time or inspiration for in the end, and I regret not making more of it.”

We briefly distracted ourselves with broken campaign promises (something that I, unfortunately, have some experience with as well). With the other major things addressed, I turned to the most important question that anybody in the South Pacific must answer:

“Cake or Pie?”

He laughed, and then smiled sheepishly. “I always use this point to push the Independessert position, but not today. Today I'm going to talk cake, because I want cake right now and don't have any, and I shouldn't go into the kitchen and make a cake in a mug, either, because I've had enough snack food today. But man, a cake right now would be great! Have I told you that I live down the road from a cake factory? It used to be called The Ministry of Cake. How awesome is that!? Some mornings, when we're downwind of it, it's all you can smell. It's usually chocolate cake, too.”

“I still prefer pie, though.”

“Pie's great, of course, but to the best of my knowledge, you can't make it in a mug in the microwave. Of course, ice cream trumps all.”

“Fair enough!”

All of a sudden, we were startled by a banging at the door. Erinor moved to the door and opened it to find the moving company Tsunamy hired yelling at him furiously. Apparently, they had been told to set everything up by the next major update, and there were only a few hours left until then! I offered to help carry the last few boxes, and soon enough, we were outside, enjoying the cool breeze of a South Pacifican evening.

As we were leaning on his moving van (slightly out of breath, I must admit), I thought of one more question.

“It's probably a bit incongruous, given his tenure, but is there anything you'd like to pass on to Tsunamy, who's taking over the Delegacy?”

He took a while to answer.

“I have nothing to pass on to Tsu, really. I mean, what could I? Afterall, he was my model Ddelegate and I've done my best to emulate his approach whilst bringing my own vibe. I know the region is in safe hands and with SWAN now up and running, I'm sure he'll be able to maintain and surpass the high endo count we've started to get used to this term past. I hope he still finds it fun and that he has the time he needs to settle in to the changes in his real world. Love ya, Tsu! #MyDelegate”

With that, he stood up, said that he had to get going, and gave me a hearty hug before getting into the van. As he drove off into the sunset, I got another good glance at him through the driver’s side window - dark-rimmed glasses, slightly graying hair, and the nicest smile in NationStates.

An artist's rendition of Killer Monkeys

Government Island. Police are investigating the theft of Killer Monkeys’ Lampshade from the Regional History Museum.

Island Police responded yesterday evening to a report of disturbances at the Regional History Museum. By the time officers arrived at the scene, the Museum looked undisturbed, but a subsequent inspection revealed that Killer Monkeys’ Lampshade was missing from its display at the Early Lampshades Hall. There were no other missing items.

Chief Constable Errol North has indicated that surveillance cameras show the thieves entering the museum and taking the Lampshade, but he also said that there had been no chance to see the thieves’ faces. North also said that initial evidence collection had been mostly unsuccessful, with the exception of what investigators believe to be a tool used by the thieves, which was recovered from the Early Lampshades Hall.

North has said that Island Police will assign a top priority to this case, and has vowed to devote key resources to recovering the Lampshade.

What is the Killer Monkeys Lampshade?

Killer Monkeys is widely considered the first Delegate of the Coalition of the South Pacific. He is renowned for calling the first government elections and overseeing the building of the first Regional Capitol.

One of the pioneers in lampshade fashion, alongside Lady Rebels, he wore a blue-and-black lampshade at the inauguration ceremony of the Regional Capitol, which housed the chamber of the Assembly and was expected to how the offices of the Cabinet, once elected.

Has anybody seen the Cabinet lately? Should we file a missing persons report? If you haven’t noticed, we are at the mid-way point in the June-September 2018 term and you’d be hard pressed to list any achievements made during the past two months. What’s happening inside those hallowed halls?

I don’t want to be too harsh on the Cabinet. After all, they were tasked with cleaning up the mess of the motion of no confidence, targeting former ministers Tim and Escade, delivered in the waning days of the previous Cabinet, along with a set of high-profile proscriptions to enact based on evidence unavailable to them. It’s hard to jump right into an agenda when there are so many loose ends to tie up, ends that you never asked for in the first place and probably shouldn’t have been left scattered about in the first place. But now that the final say in the proscriptions matter is in the hands of the High Court, the Cabinet should be able to get on with its agenda, right?

Unfortunately, the answer seems to be no. This article started as an interview of the incoming ministers, and included a question about what the unified agenda of the Cabinet was going to be. In retrospect, it was a red flag that only one minister answered the interview question, and their answer was that there wasn’t a unified agenda. The previous Cabinet, before it descended into an acrimonious mess of personal and professional misconduct, was rather unified in its agenda, working in unison to achieve, among other things, the alliances with The East Pacific and the New Pacific Order; defending Lazarus against a coup, and trying to prevent another one; and tying it all up with some excellent Discord-driven festivals. Today’s Cabinet, with its false start at the beginning of the term, doesn’t have the same synergy and it shows.

But how is this playing out in the individual ministries?

In the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, headed by first-time foreign minister Resentine, started on a bumpy road. His first move was to form an eclectic advisory team, composed of what was supposed to be a “team of rivals,” but ended up being more of an incoherent mess of conflicting ideologies and personalities. The latter half of summer is typically a slow time in NationStates, so it wouldn’t be fair to expect many major moves in foreign affairs this term. But the ministry was strangely silent on the collapse of the peacekeeping mission in Lazarus, which TSP played a pivotal role in starting. Ambassador posts remain unfilled or left in uncertain status. The minister himself was at risk of losing membership in the legislature due to vote inactivity.

The Ministry of Regional Affairs is an even more unfortunate story. Nakari, the previous Chair of the Assembly and long-time advisor in the ministry, abruptly quit the game after a period of inactivity. In exiting, she said spending time away from the game made her realize she was much happier without playing it. The context of that realization is probably known to any frequent visitor of TSP’s Discord server since the aforementioned motion of no confidence.

As for the Ministry of Military Affairs, there simply isn’t enough public information out there to judge. Military activity is down across the board in the game, par for the course during this time of summer.

And lastly, the Prime Minister’s office. Farengeto has been criticized for his lack of visibility, but behind the scenes has been a much different story. Following Nakari’s exit, the Prime Minister tapped Kringalia to help get the ministry’s gears in motion, until the special election for her replacement is over. Unlike the “lead-from-behind” Prime Ministers of the past, PM Farengeto is readying to take the reins as necessary and play a more direct role in the ministries moving forward.

That’s not to say there isn’t room for healthy criticism. Work done behind the scenes is not work the public can judge, and it’s taken half the term to address systemic activity problems. The key here is healthy criticism, though, and that has been lacking in our discourse.

The root of the problems left unmentioned so far is really the elephant in the room: a noxious environment of over-the-top attacks, personal acrimony, and alleged serious misconduct, often perpetrated by those targeted in the late-May motion of no confidence. So far, two players have quit due to the regular vicious brawls, and privately many individuals old and new cite the past two months as reasons for their inactivity, lack of public interaction, and thoughts of quitting themselves.

Can we really blame a government, in this context, for verging on dismality? Who wants to put their best foot forward and risk it being bitten off? Maybe it’s better to take the advice of Amy Dunne, the eponymous Gone Girl, and just go missing. Technically missing, soon to be presumed dead.

About the Southern Journal

The Southern Journal is a newspaper owned and edited by the Ministry of Regional Affairs. It was founded in September 2014 with the goal of providing accurate and unbiased news and journalistic content to South Pacificans. Opinions contained in this issue and any other publication belong to those who have expressed them, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Southern Journal, the Ministry of Regional Affairs or the Coalition of the South Pacific.