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**Farengeto** · 11-22-2020, 10:38 PM

The Southern Journal
The Official News Outlet of the South Pacific

Southern Onion: A Narrative on North Prarie v. Vara

By Rabbitz.

I saw the news from my hospital TV, and I rejoiced. Varanius was finally being put on trial; the guy who put me in this bed after I accused him of puppy kicking. With the amount of evidence that had been accumulating from Vara’s kicking tendencies towards puppies and Vara’s accusers, it was only a matter of time. I felt that I could finally get justice; I felt that I could finally get satisfaction, and I felt that I finally could take a bunny nap knowing that puppy kickers were punished for their crimes. With all these emotional states, I eagerly turned the volume up to 10, and watched in eagerness.

The prosecution whipped the defense as a barrage of evidence came forth from various communication logs. From the humble Lampshade Bar to the rough and tumble Military Affairs and beyond, the evidence highlighted everything from Vara blatantly kicking puppies, to his outright acceptance that he kicked puppies. With wave after wave of evidence coming forth, the prosecution looked like they had this in the bag.

Meanwhile, the defense was awful at best. The whole defense consisted of a speech that ran contrary to prior evidence calling it “foreign propaganda,” “character assassination,” and a “scare tactic”. I particularly found the statement calling the evidence “propaganda being perpetuated by an NPO government member” baffling since not even half the evidence occurred on NPO-based communication logs. Even after the defense was given, the prosecution countered it with evidence that starkly contrasted with Vara’s claims, which further solidified the prosecution's arguments.

Soon after, the Chief Justice gave his verdict of the case highlighting incidents that had happened on TSP-soil: the steps of the Assembly Hall. Jason, the puppy victim, was kicked “in an attempt to ‘get him out of the way’”. Several days later, a similar incident occurred where a puppy was kicked at Swifty, which was succeeded by two other incidents involving Vara kicking four puppies at 208 Market Street. The verdict even went on discussing Daisy, a bulldog, who was brutally injured by Vara both physically and mentally.

In the end, it was the ruling that put the cherry on top of the iced cake. It stated that Vara must serve community service to the island which he had committed crimes on - Government Island -and that he was banned from TSP-based communication platforms for a total of 20 minutes served in increments of one minute daily. Although at first, I was disappointed that it wasn’t lifetime imprisonment, I soon realized that Vara was robbed of the satisfaction of lifetime imprisonment and that all that his puppy-kicking ventures amounted to was 30-day community service. After that ruling, I took the best bunny-nap of my life; I dreamt of frolicking in beautiful meadows.