The South Pacific

Hi. Im Rebeltopia, and Im here today to talk to you about unsightly nose hair. Have you ever been rejected for a date cause your nose hair was braided? I have. I was humiliated. four and a half people laughed at me that day.
Thats why I created the Nose Hair Zapper®. Just hold it up to your nose, and press and hold the little red button for ten seconds, then blow your nose. Its just that easy!!
The technology is so vast, you'll never believe it! When you press the button, two shrunken people with scissors get shot into you nose and clip all the nose hairs they can clip! Releasing the button yanks them back into the Nose Hair Zapper® where they rest up for the next time you need them! Then just blow your nose to see just how much you've been needing the Nose Hair Zapper®!

The Nose Hair Zapper®. Just 1,995 easy payments of $0.01!
BUT WAIT! THERES MORE!!
Call within the next one hundred years and we'll send you the magical Ear Hair Zapper® for FREE!! YES! You heard right! Get a FREE Ear Hair Zapper® when you call within the next one hundred years!
CALL NOW!

The Nose Hair Zapper®
Ten seconds could save you YEARS of unsightly nose hair!™

Does nobody wanna buy a Nose Hair Zapper??

Nobody is disputing your craziness.

So the item is worth $19.95? Okay I guess I'll buy it for my talks in Ryccia. If I get embarrased I could zap them as punishment. Genius!

I would like to buy a couple Nose Hair Zappers!
*Dump trucks full of pennies break through the wall*
Will this do?

Death to pennies.