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**Beepee** · 07-02-2019, 08:37 PM

Beepee on behalf of the Ron/Debs joint ticket for Delegate 2019.

Background

Ron

Ron is one of TSP's most unrecognisable characters (given his recent surgical procedures at the hands of Dr. Pen).

Despite numerous attempts at the any job within TSP, Ron has failed to convince voters that he is a viable candidate, UNTIL NOW!

This cycle, Ron has learned from his previous mistakes and has determined he will launch a solid campaign platform for election.

At the opening of his campaign rally, Ron called for everyone to support his bid for election stating:

"I represent the true democratic intertia that we need in TSP!"

Other, more learned "teaspooners" have questioned whether Ron is fit to hold office. Ron took these questions in his stride:

"If I dont win the delegacy or the delegacy is snatched through some administrative wheeler-dealing, you can bet I'll be calling it an establishment rouse."

Debs

To many, political newcomer Debs was a surprise pick for running mate by Ron. Despite only holding minor secretarial duties in the past, she is quickly establishing herself as a firebrand capable of stoking a populist fervour.

Playing to the crowd with usual her "populist regionalism", Debs said to the great unwashed:

"We're the best region! We are! We're gonna show those in the toilet paper Pacific how to run an election and manipulate the results for a Ron/Debs victory! Unlike them, we won't get caught!"

Policies

The Ron/Debs Joint ticket is pleased to announce the following 3 policy areas for his future delegacy.

Mar-SOUP-ial

Recently, the toilet paper Pacific (TEP) has been shooting and killing marsupials. This has resulted in an oversupply of fresh meat to flood the TSP market.

There's only one way to deal with this, as part of a Ron tenure, Ron will require the Local Council to blend, liquidate and puree fresh marsupial meat into a drinkable form which the LC will then return to the toilet paper Pacific as Mar-Soup-ial!

3 Ply Minimums

Upon drinking Mar-Soup-ial, those residing in the toilet paper Pacific will be clearly requiring to use public conveniences.

Soon they'll discover that single ply won't cut it and will be forced to upgrade their quality of service within public restrooms to triple ply. Thus, improving Teaspooners ability to receive high a quality service across the multiverse.

Maintaining High Dis-Endorsement Rates

There are over 6000 nations in TSP. Only approximately 850 of them are WA nations. That's a dis-endorsement rate of almost 85%.

The Ron/Debs campaign has a dis-endorsement rate of 100%.

No other candidate comes close!

Conflict of Interest — Disclosure

This is a joke campaign and should totally not be taken seriously (unless of course Seraph doesn't run, in which case you should definitely vote Ron/Debs!)

The Ron/Debs Campaign is taking donations of cake and SPIT.

To Donate please call 1800-RON DEBS