BREAKING NEWS: DELEGATE FEIRMONT REVEALED TO BE A VAMPIRE
by Scylla


THE SOUTH PACIFIC — According to the latest anecdotal evidence presented in a private Ministry of Regional Affairs meeting, Delegate Feirmont has been conclusively revealed to be at least 160 years old. In light of recent research developments by renowned vampirologist Stephenie Meyer, it has become apparent that vampires live much longer lives than normal beings, while displaying an age much younger than their own. Based on this research, it is believed that that the delegate could be at least 300 or 400 years old, but research is still inconclusive.

During the meeting, Delegate Feirmont, during a slip of tongue, mentioned reminiscing of music from the mid 1950's, before also reminiscing of a musical genre that ProfessorHenn recognised, after much extensive research, as being enjoyed only by people at least 80 years old at the time of it's popularity. The delegate also reminisced of his vampire companions, stating "We looked at each other and laughed at how old we're getting," recognising that he is much older than he claims to be. Some extensive calculations by top mathematicians have placed the delegate as having been born at least as early as 1850, with theoretically expected ages based on Meyer's research being much higher.

Witness reports around The South Pacific have claimed midnight feedings of Feirmont on the syrup of other pancakes.