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Artist's impression: Count Feirmont suspected to be hunting pancakes at night

THE SOUTH, SYRUPLESS, PACIFIC - In recent weeks, Delegate Feirmont - sometimes referred to as Count Feirmont out of the tentative ears of the government - has been reported to be a vampire. Numerous pancakes have disappeared over the previous months, with others being completely drained of syrup. Delegate Feirmont has yet to definitively acknowledge the report. As such, Feirmont has been brought to trial by the closed society, Alpha Pancake Alpha, also known as the Pancake Club. After being brought to trial, Feirmont stated "Uh....Uh oh..." before fleeing the scene. Feirmont has hidden from the media since.


Vocal members of the community against Feirmont have called for drastic measures, ranging from a proper trial, to a coup or an outright massacre of all pancakes. At the trial of Feirmont, Minister of Regional Affairs Kris Kringle stated "Down with the tyrannical rule of the Pancake!" as Feirmont walked into the room. Order was called for as pancakes present at the trial went into panic.

Conspiracy theorists such as Pancake Slayers have claimed that Delegate Feirmont feels threatened by the presence of other pancakes and is murdering all competition. 

We will keep you updated as Pancakes continue to disappear.