Your Honourable Justices,

I am Sir. Lawyerly McDouseldoff of the great firm of all things lawyerly, McDouseldoff and Associates.

His Majesty, the Magnificent Supreme Leader of Earth, King of Kings, Democratic President and Prime-Minister-For-Life, Invincible and All-Triumphant Commander, Chief Ophthalmologist and board-certified OB-GYN, Brilliant Genius of Humanity, Noble Prize winner in everything, and Benevolent Oppressor and Ruthless Protector of the Expendable People of Amerion, Admiral-General Stewie G., has found it proper to honour me with the task of his representation in these farcical legal proceedings.

The key complaint here is that his Holiness could not fulfil his promise in delivering a cookie of the respondent's choice upon their completion of recent Assembly survey. A survey, which, I might add, was a tremendous success. A truly great success. A lot of people don't talk about it because of the lamestream media but we know, we know the truth. It was something no one has ever seen done before but when we did it, everyone was very shocked that it could be done. But we did it. We did it.

Anyways, where was I ... Ah yes! The survey! Well, the survey was done very well but while his Royal plush bottom wished to bestow the gift upon the respondents, he could not! For, you see, those dreaded workers at the Cookie and Goodie thingy-mabob went on strike! Terrible! Terrible people. Truly the worse. But because they went on strike, his Most Empathetic Person could not deliver on his promise.

Ergo, we seek a dismissal of this case by your Honourable Justices with such beautiful families and grand stately homes which just so happen to be made out of wood ...