| The Silicon Pens - A Writers' Group |
(03-04-2017, 10:25 PM)Ryccia Wrote: I liked this. You did a good job of capturing the surprise of the scene and the feelings of your narrator. I'd probably recommend using less time explaining elements of Aringian/Maple State culture, though. In such a short piece, it's not a good idea to fill up with exposition. Since the fictional setting isn't really the point of the piece, next time you might choose to ground it more in reality so the focus stays on the strange encounter with the octopus (which is delightfully strange, also I want some of those pretzels). Thanks for submitting something! Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond! Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi. Salma 145:8
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