Greetings, fellow South Pacificans,

You may not be aware, but today is International Women's Day and we want to celebrate that as a region.

This is the internet - we're all aware of that and, as is common online, perhaps even more so than in the real world, women are not strongly represented in our community. A recent survey of the Assembly of the South Pacific (http://tspforums.xyz/thread-5131-post-18...#pid182712) revealed that, of 18 Legislators who responded, only one was female. Of the twelve regional officers listed on our World Factbook Entry, only two are female: Minister of Military Affairs Nakarisaune and Local Councillor Auphelia. And yet, I know from interactions on our Regional Message Board, Discord server and forums that many more female players engage with the region all the time and many more are probably sitting silently on the sidelines.

Well, not today - today we want to celebrate our female membership! If you're a girl or woman, cis or trans-gendered, please take the opportunity today to introduce yourself and tell your story. We want to hear more about you and, hopefully, encourage you to be more involved in the region from today onwards - because we don't just want to hear from the girls one day a year, we want you to be part of an equal partnership and dialogue all year round!

Feel free to chat about this below!

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
Psalm 145: 8

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On being female in NationStates: I find it would be impossible to ignore being in a minority here. For one, it kind of automatically makes you stand out a bit, and I think that can contribute to achieving prominence - at least, I found when I first started getting involved that people paid a bit more attention to me because I was female. I don't think that was always for the right reason. There was a lot of flirting that, when I was younger, I took as a compliment, but looking back on it... there was a lot of it, that sometimes went too far, from people who barely knew me, and were clearly paying attention just because of my gender. Ah, hindsight. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was harassment. But at the time it just seemed like the natural price of being female on the internet, and it shouldn't be.
 On the other hand, I think it helped me in some ways. Now, I realise I was pretty much only getting attention because I was female, but it absolutely helped my confidence a lot. And gaining that confidence, and automatically standing out a bit, absolutely assisted me in NS. At times, I can feel a bit like a token - for a long time I was the only female with real power in... basically the whole of Defenderdom But hey, better than having no women active in leadership at all... I think it's a shame that there are so few of us around. But there's always room for more <3

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Thank you for that, it was a really interesting perspective, made all the more valuable for the fact that it's the only one we've got so far.

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
Psalm 145: 8

Reply

I don’t think I’m the best woman to ask about this sort of stuff, but no one else seems to be posting so here I am.

My mom isn’t very feminine, and I think her reluctance to participate in those female bonding things is sorta a key reason for where I am right now. Instead, we bonded over silly things like apps for our phones, which is how I found this site btw, did you know there was once a nationstates app?

Anyhow, my life didn’t become more equal after that, I was surrounded by men which was alienating. School was full of boys, talk of boys, and male teachers were in every classroom. Of course I had gal pals and we talked, but I don’t think we ever talked about what it means to be a woman. We did, however, talk about what it means to be a man, which I think is funny in a twisted sense of the word.

Overall I would describe my femininity as male adjacent. I’m not defined by men, but I also can’t be separated from them. They’re sorta everywhere if you haven’t noticed and kinda hard to distance yourself from. I don’t think there’s one type of femininity that we can all crowd under, I don’t think there’s one definition of the word, there’s just expectations.

I don’t know if that’s what you wanted, but now you have it.

(This post was last modified: 03-08-2019, 05:14 PM by Lily Pad.)

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Many of my hobbies, including Nation States, tend to attract more male participants than female. Being in the minority hinders my enjoyment because I feel as if I have to be a representative of my gender. Failures and successes that should be attributed to my individual abilities (or lack of), become used as examples of how skilled my entire gender is. As I become more aware of this, I stop enjoying the activity because I focus on how I should be performing to adequately represent my gender. I feel more comfortable in groups where I'm not looked to as an exemplar.

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Here’s what our RMB Goddess has to say about being a woman!

Exactly!

If you notice much of the westernised world, activities and clothes that are associated with men are seen in higher regard. Consider trousers. Men and women can wear them with no problems. Consider a dress. A woman can wear it, but a man wearing it is an abomination and unnatural.

Why?

Because women are inferior, and therefore things associated with us are inferior.

I also find it interesting how there is no way for a woman to just be, we're always a type. Meanwhile, men can luxuriate in their anonymity, not having to define themselves in every decision they make. Women can never be ourselves, but rather the sum total of the opinions people have of us based on our choices. Nothing a woman does can be unmarked, because male is the baseline upon which everything is judged. Of course, this all is not to say that men cannot be marked, but rather that they constantly have the option to be unmarked, comfortable in anonymity, someone who can define themselves as them rather than having assumptions made about them.

Mr conveys nothing except that someone is male. Miss or Mrs defines a woman by her marital status, and about the level of conservative values she may harbour. A Ms declines to answer the question (though a Mr declines nothing, as nothing was asked of him), marking a woman as rebellious or liberated, depending on how someone interpreting her preferred title views the world.

A woman can do nothing with her hair without being judged. Even to do nothing marks us as unkempt, untidy. To have short hair we seen as unfeminine and "butch", probably lesbians. To have long hair holds a whole host of other ways to be marked, with the various styles and colours that are expected of us. A man can simply have short hair and be fine, with little attention called to it and thus is unmarked.

A woman with makeup on is defined by that. A bold red lipstick, heavy eyeliner and lots of eye shadow may be seen as garish and overtly sexual (as anything feminine is), conveying a lack of class and intelligence. A hint of blush and a tinted lip gloss is subtle but conveys class, good for a place of business where appearance might be important. Having to makeup at all for a woman is a sign of not caring about her appearance. On the other hand, a man with no makeup is a man unmarked. Men can wear makeup, and therefore be marked, but he has the choice not to be. He is able to choose.

I've often been called "_____ for a woman", typically belligerent, loud, or fun. On the other hand, I have never heard the same said about men. Men are given more freedom to express themselves in their behaviours, and thus have more ability to express their personalities while remaining unmarked. They are not "that" kind of man; they are simply who they are. A problem of this is also that women are often minorities in fields of power. When that happens, we become representatives of our gender as a whole, which does not serve to make us an unmarked hegemony, but rather make every woman to be who you now are. If you fail, you fail for every woman in the eyes of those around you. If you succeed, you succeed for yourself. This also puts more pressure on women to perform, which leads to more markers, like "driven" and "career oriented", which can be seen as "too aggressive", something relatively unmarked when applied to a man.

What is interesting is that this conveys itself into even places where one would think these physical traits and external features wouldn't matter, like the internet. The very language we use, aside from marking marital status, even reinforces the idea of a woman being lesser or extra to the baseline that is manhood. Markers like ess and ette make a word feminine, and therefore lesser. An actor is someone serious about their role and dedicated to their craft. An actress is a ditsy starlet who obsesses over her looks. Serious professions, like doctors or lawyers, do not use these markers to denote women, because the professions are serious, and therefore have no place for the lesser denotation of womanhood. A doctorette or a lawyeress has no place safeguarding your health or ensuring the law is maintained.

When we make women the other and mark the other as inferior, while men can choose to remain unmarked, we do no favours to either gender. Why is masculinity fine, but femininity something to be afraid of? Why are serious, more masculine (though not too masculine) women considered serious, while a bright, cheery woman in a dress considered less so? It baffles me, and is something society as a whole should consider every time they make assumptions based on external factors. What is driving this train of thought? Why do I consider this person this way? Should I penalise someone because of how they appear to me, or realise my own internal biases and experiences have shaped what I consider good or appropriate?

Asking these questions won't solve the problem, but it might just help each of us make things a little bit better.

(This post was last modified: 03-08-2019, 10:51 PM by Lily Pad.)

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I don't really want to talk about my personal experience here (cause I'm an awkward gal), but happy international women's day   Love you all and thanks for being as inclusive as can, keep trying your best  Remember, we all matter. Except me. Cause I energy.

P.S. (Just a joke obviously, you do all matter a lot, even if others say you don't you matter a lot to me at least  )

Nation: 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121
I'm more active gameside than here but either place I'd love to talk ^-^

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Well I'll introduce myself. I as well am a girl and although I do have a lot of personal experience with some things I won't get in to that as it's a lot. I personally like the community in nation states because most here are supportive and understand of one another and do not go around harassing others which I love.  Happy international women's day though

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I love this thread!

If anyone else wants to contribute, feel free. IWD may be over, but that's hardly the point.

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
Psalm 145: 8

Reply

Auphelia's essay is very powerful.

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