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South Pacific Independent News Network · 08-31-2020, 11:03 PM

Year 18 | 31 August 2020

REAL NEWS
PANDA LOSES PM ELECTION AS DIPLOMATIC CRISIS WITH SOUTH PACIFIC BREWS
Gale Weathers | News Editor

Government Island is in uproar after Election Commissioner Sandaoguo announced that Panda had only attained 12% of the first round vote in the Prime Minister special election despite holding nearly 40% of voter preferences in recent polls.

North Prarie, the distant second in recent polls, went on to win with a stunning 71% of the vote, which has been plagued with irregularities. Panda immediately called the results "fraudulent" and said that North Prarie is "just Glen wearing a hat and sunglasses". In a latest press conference, Panda said that exit polls conducted by their campaign showed them winning with 54% of the first round vote, a dramatic reversal from the final results, and assured supporters that "we know the establishment didn't want us to win, but rest assured that the people will not be silenced".

While North Prarie has already taken the official residence at 265 Lampshade Street, experts claim that the reversal in voter preferences is due to the surging diplomatic crisis with South Pacific. Recently the Delegate of South Pacific banned imports of South Pacific Iced Tea (SPIT), calling it a "foul-named beverage". Sources close to the North Prarie campaign say that North Prarie urged South Pacific to ban SPIT imports and used the crisis to convince undecided voters that Panda was to blame, a tactic that seems to have worked.

Prime Minister Prarie has not been available for comment, but sources from within South Pacific agree that there was contact between the Prarie campaign and the Delegate of South Pacific shortly before voting started. This has incensed Panda supporters, who have taken to the streets of Government Island to protest and demand a new election. It is unclear whether this will be allowed, but as tensions rise and the Assembly takes note of the brewing diplomatic crisis with South Pacific, some voters are starting to wonder if the tough treatment that Panda promised might not have been the best option for these turbulent times.

The South Pacific Independent News Network (SPINN) is an independent news organisation established in 2003 with the goal of providing good, insightful and timely commentary on regional events for the citizens of the South Pacific. This publication is satirical and does not necessarily reflect the facts or the views of the Editorial Board. Content is published via pseudonyms. The SPINN is not associated with the Government of the South Pacific.