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South Pacific Independent News Network · 10-19-2020, 10:48 PM

Year 18 | 19 October 2020

REAL NEWS
PRIME MINISTER PENGUIN: PANDA IN DISGUISE?
Gale Weathers | News Editor

Were you surprised at the late surge of Penguin votes in the recent Prime Minister election? You're not alone: many have expressed surprise at Penguin's victory. Some suggest that this happened because those who voted late were also voters that agreed with Penguin's moderate campaign, but others believe that a more nefarious cause is to blame for the upset.

A growing number of legislators have taken to the floor of the Assembly to accuse Panda of orchestrating the late vote surge in an effort to deny both Sandaoguo and North Prarie a chance at victory. Panda, who is infamous for his role in the Dirty Lampshades and who briefly ran for Minister of Engagement in the recent election, is being accused of ensuring Penguin's victory in order to use that as leverage to influence the direction of Cabinet policy. While no hard evidence has been presented so far, some legislators have said that Panda was seen unusually happy after Penguin's victory was certified.

Owing to these concerns, the Prosecutor General's Office has confirmed that it has received dozens of requests to investigate the Penguin campaign and any possible contact that it might have had with Panda. The Prosecutor General has also said that they will be reopening their investigation into Panda's lampshade smuggling operations, following an anonymous tip that Penguin's election would pave the way for renewed shipments at the South Pacific Seaport.

The South Pacific Independent News Network (SPINN) is an independent news organisation established in 2003 with the goal of providing good, insightful and timely commentary on regional events for the citizens of the South Pacific. This publication is satirical and does not necessarily reflect the facts or the views of the Editorial Board. Content is published via pseudonyms. The SPINN is not associated with the Government of the South Pacific.