Here are some discretionary edits specifically about grammar and punctuation in sections that have subsections. I do have more edits to make, but I'm not putting too many edits in each round so that I don't overwhelm myself.
A bit of background: some laws have subsections. There are two main ways that the sections and subsections are structured sentence-wise:
1) The section and each subsection are all their own sentence.
Criminal Code
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1. Crimes
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(3) Espionage shall be defined as an act of or attempt to obtain information that is confidential or not made publicly available for use by oneself or an entity one represents. Distribution of private information that originates in official South Pacific discussion areas, excluding private messages, without the express written permission of the relevant officials or institutions shall be considered Espionage.
a. The Chair of the Assembly shall be the relevant official for information from private discussions of the Assembly.
b. The Council on Regional Security shall be the relevant institution for information from private discussions of the Council.
c. The High Court shall be the relevant institution for information from private discussions of the High Court.
d. The Cabinet shall be the relevant institution for all other private information that originates in official South Pacific discussion areas.
2) The section and the subsections form one long sentence.
Judicial Act
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1. The High Court
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(6) The Cabinet is compelled to appoint a fitting individual as per above with all deliberate speed if
a. there are less than two Associate Justices on the High Court,
b. the Chief Justice position is vacant and the Associate Justices cannot determine a new Chief Justice amongst themselves for any reason, or
c. a case cannot continue due to recusals.
<-- this is no longer happening
Now the grammar for the first type is correct in all the laws it shows up in as far as I can tell. However, it gets a bit inconsistent in quality once you get to the second type. I am making these corrections by assuming that the punctuation and grammar used in these sentences are the same as if they were stretched out as one long sentence.
Judicial Act
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1. The High Court
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(6) The Cabinet is compelled to appoint a fitting individual as per above with all deliberate speed if
a. there are less than two Associate Justices on the High Court,
b. the Chief Justice position is vacant and the Associate Justices cannot determine a new Chief Justice amongst themselves for any reason, or
c. a case cannot continue due to recusals.
The sentence above, when written out as one long sentence, would be "The Cabinet is compelled to appoint a fitting individual as per above with all deliberate speed if there are less than two Associate Justices on the High Court, the Chief Justice position is vacant and the Associate Justices cannot determine a new Chief Justice amongst themselves for any reason, or a case cannot continue due to recusals." This sentence is correct as is, so no changes are needed in this case.
The actual changes are as follows:
Cultural Act
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2. Colors
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(2) The official colors of the South Pacific are--
a. South Pacific Blue (#109AED),
b. White (#FFFFFF), and
c. Tropical Orange (#FF9900).
3. Holidays
(1) The following days will be official holidays of the Coalition:
a. 1 January shall be Delegates Day, celebrating those who have served as Delegate of the Coalition,;
b. 18 March shall be Max Barry Day, celebrating the creator and founder of NationStates,;
c. 2 June shall be Coalition Day, celebrating the creation of the Charter, Government, and the Coalition,;
d. 17 July shall be Defender Day, celebrating the day the South Pacific officially became a defender region,;
d. 20 July shall be Independence Day, celebrating our freedom and independence, marking the end of UCR control over the South Pacific,;
e. 13 November shall be Creation Day, celebrating the creation of NationStates,; and
f. 31 December shall be Foundation Day, celebrating the creation of the South Pacific.
Judicial Act
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2. Judicial Conduct and Requirements
(1) Justices of the High Court shall
a. rule upon what is written in law, and not be influenced by prejudice based on personal bias, corruption by undue influence, or discord,;
b. consider the impact of Court rulings carefully to ensure that, whenever possible, no individual is empowered to exploit rulings of the Court,;
c. maintain good communication with fellow Justices as well as the broader community,; and
d. be reasonably inquisitorial.
Military Code
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1. General Corps
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(4) A General is removed from the General Corps if
a. the General no longer holds the rank of Commander (temporary demotions shall not be considered for this purpose), or
b. a simple majority of the General Corps votes for the removal, or
c. the General is recalled by the Assembly through regular order.
2. Ranks
(1) The attainable ranks in the military are, from lowest to highest:
a. Trainee, which is the entry rank for any new member of the military, regardless of prior experience;
b. Soldier, which is the rank for which a member of the military is considered to be able to autonomously follow any order described in battlefield-typical terms,;
c. Officer, which is for individuals deemed capable of leading troops in operations,;
d. Commander, which is considered the rank that can plan and execute larger, potentially long-term operations.
Legislator Committee Act
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1. Scope
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(3) A member of the Legislator Committee is removed from the committee if
a. the member resigns, or
b. the member loses legislator eligibility, or
c. the member is recalled by the Assembly through regular order.
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2. Legislator Applications
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(3) An application for legislator status must include at least
a. the current nation in the South Pacific,;
b. any colloquial aliases of the individual in use within the last year, or in prominent use longer than a year ago,;
c. the current World Assembly nation of the individual (in case of a floating World Assembly membership, the applicant may list multiple nations such that World Assembly membership can be traced throughout the application process),; and
d. a pledge to uphold the laws of the Coalition of the South Pacific.
Proscription Act
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1. Acts of Hostility
(1) The following acts committed against the legitimate government of the South Pacific, or its allies, are considered acts of hostility, whether or not they are successful—:
a. Ooverthrowing the legitimate government;
b. Uunlawfully causing a nation to become Delegate;
c. Uunlawfully gaining access to privileged or classified information, or distributing it or publishing it;
d. Eexploiting, manipulating, or unduly influencing elections or votes; or
e. Aacting as an agent on behalf of a foreign region or organization, to the detriment of the legitimate government.
...
4. Judicial Review
(1) A member of the Coalition subject to a proscription may petition the High Court for judicial review under of the following procedures—:
a. Tthe individual may request that the High Court review underlying evidence of intelligence upon which their proscription is based., or
b. Iif under a proscription of a region or organization, the individual may present an appeal that they are not a member of the targeted region or organization.
Regional Communications Act
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1. Scope
(1) Modes of mass communication covered include:
a. Mass Telegrams to the region using Regional Officer powers,
b. Dispatches pinned to the regional World Factbook Entry,
c. Cchanges to the regional World Factbook Entry, and
d. Aany other form of communication, apart from the Regional Message Board, that is directly visible on the NationStates website by the in-game region at large.
...
2. Mass Communication
(1) Communications to the region shall be
a. respectful,
b. honest,
c. restrained to a reasonable frequency of notifications, and
d. neutral with respect to political ideology or debate.
(2) Communications to the region shall not
a. mislead the public,
b. attack or otherwise diminish other officials,
c. attack or otherwise diminish the South Pacific or her allies,
d. directly or indirectly threaten the security apparatus of the South Pacific or her allies, or
e. deliberately influence a regional election in favour of or against specific candidates.
Regional Officers Act
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1. Regional Officer Power Definitions
(1) Under the terms of the act, the following powers are defined as--:
Law Standards Act
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2. Formatting of Bills and Amendments
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(4) The following should be observed for articles, sections, and sub-sections:
a. Aarticles should be numbered and bolded.;
b. Ssections should be numbered with parentheses, unless there is only one section without any sub-sections.; and
c. Ssub-sections should be lettered with lowercase letters.
Regional Officers Act
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1. Regional Officer Power Definitions
(1) Under the terms of the act, the following powers are defined as--:
a. “Appearance” is the authority to alter the World Factbook Entry and pin Dispatches.;
b. “Border Control” is the authority to eject and ban nations from the region.;
c. “Communications” is the authority to send region-wide telegrams, moderate the Regional Message Board, and alter regional recruitment system powers.;
d. “Embassies” is the authority to open and close in-game embassies, and control which embassies may cross-post on the Regional Message Board.;
e. “Executive” is the authority to appoint and remove Regional Officers.;
f. “Polls” is the authority to create regional polls.; and
g. “World Assembly” is the authority to approve of World Assembly proposals and to cast the region's World Assembly votes.
Sunshine Act
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2. Publishing of Discussions
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(2) The release of discussions shall occur at the following times:
a. Ffor a Cabinet term, discussions from the Cabinet shall be released no later than 6 months after the completion of that term., and
b. Ffor a High Court case, they shall be released no later than 6 months after the ruling or, if appealed, the ruling on the appeal, has been announced.
(This post was last modified: 12-25-2020, 08:59 PM by Purple Hyacinth.)
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