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Purple Hyacinth · 03-23-2021, 02:55 AM

NPO citizens urged to close their eyes and just "pretend that you can vote" in region wide mass hallucination

By The Langburn Islands

The New Pacific Order, the ruling regime of the Pacific, has dismissed concerns that it is a dead, decaying undemocratic, authoritarian dictatorship led by an unelected tyrant with a regional mass hallucination where ordinary citizens pretend that they are actually able to vote for their regional government.

NPO Emperor and Delegate of the Pacific East Durthang (also known as Lord of Darkness), when approached for comment by The Southern Onion, said that the mass hallucinatory fake election allowed NPO citizens to pretend that they can actually run for office and vote like "they actually lived in a proper region with a proper government".

"Every minor and major update, WA members of the Pacific vote for me to remain as Delegate and Emperor of the New Pacific Order. Sure, you have as much chance of winning as a third party candidate in an American presidential election, and you can only vote for one person on threat of being banned, but we still technically have an democratic election".

One NPO citizen stated that the mass hallucination was "brilliant like I lived in a proper region like the South Pacific. Look at me, I'm running for Minister of Media!" The citizen was then threatened by a Praetorian Guard with internment at the Max Barry Think Right, Think Good, Think Franco Reeducation Camp. The citizen was later seen enviously looking across the Pacific's southern border to the South Pacific where citizens are free to think for themselves as long as it's also whatever Admiral Delegate General Amerion thinks.

Despite the Emperor's protestations, the fact remains that, at the time of writing, the Pacific has by far the lowest Delegate endorsement count of any feeder with User Created Regions such as 10000 Islands (415 endorsements on Delegate HumanSanity) having higher Delegate endorsement counts than NationStates' oldest region. The Pacific has long been the most inactive of all feeders. The Southern Onion encourages Pacifican residents to run across the southern border to the glorious mighty South Pacifica where you can have more than 5 endorsements! Hail Amerion!

In other New Pacific Order news, the Republic of the Pacific, the official underground resistance movement and government in exile of the Pacific, held their presidential elections. Incumbent Gradea declined to stand for re-election with incumbent Vice President and former NPO Emperor Krulltopia being elected as President of the Republic in a massive victory with all 3 votes going to him. With Kanye West's 'Gay Fish' playing loudly and obnoxiously in the background, President Krulltopia blasted his predecessor, bluntly stating that "President Gradea did somehow a worse job than George McGovern's presidential campaign team in the 1972 US presidential election".