SCYLLA CAUGHT STEALING HATS
by Kringalia


Government Island — Reports from the Government Island Police Department indicate that an arrest warrant has been issued for Scylla. Captain Drama L. Lama explained that there is abundant evidence pointing to Scylla as an infamous hat thief that had been chased for months. Recent high profile victims were State Security Councillor Sam111 and Minister of Regional Affairs Kringalia, whose hats disappeared at times when Scylla was near them, allegedly in a shady establishment known as the Lampshade Bar.

Captain Lama assured everyone that "Scylla is harmless...mostly...I hope...uh, any other questions?". However, other sentational theories claim that Scylla is using hats to sell them on the black market, or even that he is the leader of a gang that turns hats into low quality lampshades that are then sold to newcomers for half the price. None of these claims have any evidentiary basis.

In the meantime, Scylla's whereabouts are unknown, but a large deployment of hatless police officers has been seen throughout Market Street.