Users browsing this thread:

Spenty · 02-21-2017, 07:52 AM

(02-20-2017, 09:45 AM)Seraph Wrote: My writing challenge offering. It's 365 words long and is called:

The Octopus in the Room

I hear him coming before anything else, with that slow, sinuous slither and the soft hiss and pluck of his suckers: unmistakable. I close my eyes and imagine the great bulk of his mantle lifting off the ground as his tentacles curl up into leg-like stumps, the soft thud as he sits back down and lets his many arms pull him like the currents of a rising tide.

I sink down into the armchair, hoping he won’t see me. The TV flashes bright cartoon colours before me, the sound turned off. I wish it still, dark and dead, that the room were pitch black and the only light rippling across the ceiling was the abyssal glow of his phosphorescence. Then, maybe, I could truly hide; watch the lights fade away as he moved on. No hope of that now.

Yet still, I try. I pull my arms in even as his spiral around the curtain pole, twist and writhe up the sides of my seat, stretch across the floor before me to twitch in the primary hues of superhero glory. I watch as one reaches for the buttons on the television, slides across the surface to gently press and turn all to the darkness I had longed for moments before. Somewhere behind me another must have been fumbling for the light switch because the eclipse lasts mere seconds before the main lights turn on.

The armchair begins to turn with a glacial, deliberate pace and I try to make myself as small as I possibly can, holding my breath and pulling everything in so that I become little more than a quivering ball of fear. The chair stops turning and then those great eyes are glaring at me, filled to overflowing with ancient rage.

I let out a tiny, pathetic sound and he huffs air out through his mantle in response. I feel it, cold and damp on my face as I squeeze my eyes tight. He speaks.

“I thought I told you to be in bed before I got home, young lady, not staying up late watching cartoons!? Now, get upstairs, brush your beak and go to sleep at once!”

It’s useless to disobey.

It's pretty nice. It reminds me of O. Henry's stories

About me

Positions, Awards and Accolades

**Seraph** · 02-21-2017, 08:02 AM

(02-21-2017, 07:52 AM)Spenty Wrote: It's pretty nice. It reminds me of O. Henry's stories

I hadn't heard of him before, but it looks like that's the style of thing I had in mind. I've written a few super-short stories like this with surprise endings. I'll share one of my favourites later on, but I'm more interested in seeing how other people respond to the challenge first. ::

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

**Seraph** · 02-23-2017, 02:59 PM

(02-20-2017, 04:40 AM)Seraph Wrote: To get us started, I suggest a very short writing challenge:

[Image: U6KRx5b.jpg]
Write no more than 500 words inspired by the above photo.

Just bumping this up here, 'cos surely someone else can come up with something?

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

Escade · 02-23-2017, 10:07 PM

Ok, I have made an attempt (I first thought it had to be 500 words but felt better that it is up to 500):

The Old-Fashioned Way

“What the fudge,” I yelled as a giant octopus materialized in the living room and started wrapping its tentacles around the umbrella stand. I backed into the dining room table and felt a nice sharp corner in my back. There was a butter knife on the table and a bowl of oranges. I picked up an orange and threw it at the octopus. It let out a weird moan. I was going to kill my best friend.

“Ellie, for the love of God what is this thing doing here!”

The octopus seemed like it was having a panic attack and its tentacles easily crushed the umbrella stand that my grandmother had sent us from Kalarrytes. My mom was totally going to kill me.

Ellie finally appeared on the scene, brandishing her lightstone amulet. “Hey I was just trying to summon an emissary of the deep sea. This is some major spellwork.”

I looked at her and reached into my teeny tiny jeans pockets for anything that would contain her summoned creature.
“Really you couldn’t summon in the bathroom? At least miniaturize him!” I was now sitting on the table as the octopus flailed about wildly while Ellie stood in the doorwar. I cursed myself for leaving my amulet on my dresser.

“I’m out of juice, we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way,” Ellie said and smirked.

I sighed and picked up the oranges and the butter knife.

This was going to get messy.

Escade

~ Positions Held in TSP ~
Delegate | Vice Delegate
Minister of Regional Affairs, | Minister of Foreign Affairs | Minister of Military Affairs
~ The Sparkly One ~

My Pinterest

(This post was last modified: 02-23-2017, 10:08 PM by Escade.)

Spenty · 02-24-2017, 09:06 AM

Here's mine

So Jane and her husband bought a pet squid as a new addition to their family, and they have literally a mini-zoo in their house. Like millions of pets. They literally bought out the pet shop and even the live seafood section of the supermarket.

One day, Jane found out that the squid's head is growing strange.

"Honey, are you even sure that this is a normal squid?", Jane asked her husband
"Pfft it's fine", Jane's husband replied

Soon, this squid grew and grew. They later found out it was an octopus.

"What the f###### hell" Exclaimed Jane's husband
"We need to take this out as soon as possible"

As they both carried the octopus they both realized that it was a toy squid that inflates into an octopus over time.

Soon, they realized that all their pets are inflatables, and soon filed charges against the pet stores and supermarkets.

It's super short and lame, but I only had 10 minutes for this ;-;

About me

Positions, Awards and Accolades

(This post was last modified: 02-24-2017, 09:07 AM by Spenty.)

Hammerstar · 02-24-2017, 01:49 PM

I feel insulted as why you didn't invite me

I want to be in

"毎日の小さな努力の積み重ねが歴史を作っていくんだよ。"

Put a little effort everyday and it will stack up and create a foundation for you.

- Doraemon

Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplay 2020
Treasure Island Awards Best Roleplayer 2020
Cocos Winner for Best Character Writer 2017
Cocos Winner for Best International Event 2017
Cocos Winner for Best Overall RP 2017

Things to know: Medical Intern and Biomedical Scientist from Indonesia, Muslim, 188 metres tall, loves trains

**Seraph** · 02-24-2017, 01:52 PM

(02-24-2017, 01:49 PM)Hammerstar Wrote: I feel insulted as why you didn't invite me

I want to be in

I didn't invite anyone other than by starting this thread. Tounge

I'll pop you onto the list in the OP.

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

**Seraph** · 02-24-2017, 02:12 PM

(02-23-2017, 10:07 PM)Escade Wrote: Ok, I have made an attempt (I first thought it had to be 500 words but felt better that it is up to 500):

The Old-Fashioned Way

“What the fudge,” I yelled as a giant octopus materialized in the living room and started wrapping its tentacles around the umbrella stand. I backed into the dining room table and felt a nice sharp corner in my back. There was a butter knife on the table and a bowl of oranges. I picked up an orange and threw it at the octopus. It let out a weird moan. I was going to kill my best friend.

“Ellie, for the love of God what is this thing doing here!”

The octopus seemed like it was having a panic attack and its tentacles easily crushed the umbrella stand that my grandmother had sent us from Kalarrytes. My mom was totally going to kill me.

Ellie finally appeared on the scene, brandishing her lightstone amulet. “Hey I was just trying to summon an emissary of the deep sea. This is some major spellwork.”

I looked at her and reached into my teeny tiny jeans pockets for anything that would contain her summoned creature.
“Really you couldn’t summon in the bathroom? At least miniaturize him!” I was now sitting on the table as the octopus flailed about wildly while Ellie stood in the doorwar. I cursed myself for leaving my amulet on my dresser.

“I’m out of juice, we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way,” Ellie said and smirked.

I sighed and picked up the oranges and the butter knife.

This was going to get messy.

I really liked this. You did a really good job of capturing that YA fantasy genre feel and the style matches really well. It also all flows very well and I found myself wanting to read more. Smile

(02-24-2017, 09:06 AM)Spenty Wrote: Here's mine

So Jane and her husband bought a pet squid as a new addition to their family, and they have literally a mini-zoo in their house. Like millions of pets. They literally bought out the pet shop and even the live seafood section of the supermarket.

One day, Jane found out that the squid's head is growing strange.

"Honey, are you even sure that this is a normal squid?", Jane asked her husband
"Pfft it's fine", Jane's husband replied

Soon, this squid grew and grew. They later found out it was an octopus.

"What the f###### hell" Exclaimed Jane's husband
"We need to take this out as soon as possible"

As they both carried the octopus they both realized that it was a toy squid that inflates into an octopus over time.

Soon, they realized that all their pets are inflatables, and soon filed charges against the pet stores and supermarkets.

It's super short and lame, but I only had 10 minutes for this ;-;

I like the idea behind this, it's really quite funny. If I had one criticism it would be that you change tense a few times, which I know is easy to do when you're writing in a second language, but I would therefore advise that it's something you pay particular attention to when proofreading your own work. Still, for ten minutes work it's pretty good and I'd love to see what you came up with if given longer. Smile

Founder of the Church of the South Pacific [Forum Thread] [Discord], a safe place to discuss spirituality for people of all faiths and none (currently looking for those interested in prayer and/or "home" groups);
And The Silicon Pens [Discord], a writer's group for the South Pacific and beyond!

Yahweo usenneo ir varleo, ihraneo jurlaweo hraseu seu, ir jiweveo arladi.

Salma 145:8

translate

Spenty · 02-24-2017, 07:50 PM

(02-24-2017, 02:12 PM)Seraph Wrote:
(02-23-2017, 10:07 PM)Escade Wrote: Ok, I have made an attempt (I first thought it had to be 500 words but felt better that it is up to 500):

The Old-Fashioned Way

“What the fudge,” I yelled as a giant octopus materialized in the living room and started wrapping its tentacles around the umbrella stand. I backed into the dining room table and felt a nice sharp corner in my back. There was a butter knife on the table and a bowl of oranges. I picked up an orange and threw it at the octopus. It let out a weird moan. I was going to kill my best friend.

“Ellie, for the love of God what is this thing doing here!”

The octopus seemed like it was having a panic attack and its tentacles easily crushed the umbrella stand that my grandmother had sent us from Kalarrytes. My mom was totally going to kill me.

Ellie finally appeared on the scene, brandishing her lightstone amulet. “Hey I was just trying to summon an emissary of the deep sea. This is some major spellwork.”

I looked at her and reached into my teeny tiny jeans pockets for anything that would contain her summoned creature.
“Really you couldn’t summon in the bathroom? At least miniaturize him!” I was now sitting on the table as the octopus flailed about wildly while Ellie stood in the doorwar. I cursed myself for leaving my amulet on my dresser.

“I’m out of juice, we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way,” Ellie said and smirked.

I sighed and picked up the oranges and the butter knife.

This was going to get messy.

I really liked this. You did a really good job of capturing that YA fantasy genre feel and the style matches really well. It also all flows very well and I found myself wanting to read more.

(02-24-2017, 09:06 AM)Spenty Wrote: Here's mine

So Jane and her husband bought a pet squid as a new addition to their family, and they have literally a mini-zoo in their house. Like millions of pets. They literally bought out the pet shop and even the live seafood section of the supermarket.

One day, Jane found out that the squid's head is growing strange.

"Honey, are you even sure that this is a normal squid?", Jane asked her husband
"Pfft it's fine", Jane's husband replied

Soon, this squid grew and grew. They later found out it was an octopus.

"What the f###### hell" Exclaimed Jane's husband
"We need to take this out as soon as possible"

As they both carried the octopus they both realized that it was a toy squid that inflates into an octopus over time.

Soon, they realized that all their pets are inflatables, and soon filed charges against the pet stores and supermarkets.

It's super short and lame, but I only had 10 minutes for this ;-;

I like the idea behind this, it's really quite funny. If I had one criticism it would be that you change tense a few times, which I know is easy to do when you're writing in a second language, but I would therefore advise that it's something you pay particular attention to when proofreading your own work. Still, for ten minutes work it's pretty good and I'd love to see what you came up with if given longer.

Thanks! I should have proofread my work(I didn't even notice that there was faulty parallelism Tounge

).

About me

Positions, Awards and Accolades

Zak6858 · 02-24-2017, 08:26 PM

A what?

I am Zadiner/Zak. Part of Assembly, some other stuff, Founder of some other region.
Hey, I have a bunch of issues. You don't need to care.
Emoji of the week: :dodgy: